Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Social Anxiety

(I'll return to the writing about my weekend shortly -- but in the meantime - enjoy this panic attack)

I hate hate hate it

I hate my social anxiety

I do just fine at work

but put me in a non-work social setting

tell me to "go make new friends and have a good time"

I feel like I'm facing a firing squad

it's Sunday Morning -- and I've promised myself that I'm going to go find myself a church home

and

get back out there

meet people

build up my community

and I'm just

terrified

it would be so easy to say

I'm sore from yesterday (I am -- I really am)

and I have too much to do

and the church I've chosen to shop is far away

and it's in a snootier neighborhood than I like

and

I'll go
and no one will talk to me

and I'll leave feeling that -- well -- that my social anxiety voice was right
and it reinforces that putting yourself into new group settings
is wrong

and stupid

why do I want a community anyway

I have my blog community -- that's good right?

who needs it?

sigh

get up SFP

go take a shower

go make new friends

smile

say hello to at least 4 people

and it'll be over in a few hours.

sigh

(Post Script -- I didn't go -- instead I had a mopefest at home ---anxiety won -  I will try again)
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6 comments:

  1. sinNovember 15, 2011 at 6:45 AM

    I'm an extrovert and even I get this. It's a struggle to walk into a new place and meet new people and try to make friends. The "talk to 4 people" is a good idea. Better luck next time.

    And btw, having blog friends doesn't necessarily preclude having church friends. We'll share you a bit...

    sin

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  2. AnonymousNovember 15, 2011 at 7:11 PM

    Perhaps go meet the Pastor or Youth Group organizer or someone like that first.. They can then put you in touch with a friendly woman or 2 from the congregation.. then you can walk in with already knowing someone.

    We have a welcome committee -for prospective new members in my Temple. I am sure there is something like that "where you live".

    I give presentations to hundred's.. stand in front of a podium and knock them dead...but a group of strangers (not work related) - I feel your pain.

    So start small .. and work your way in.

    ~faithful

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  3. nbsNovember 15, 2011 at 8:40 PM

    Social anxiety is the pits!
    Good luck on your next try~~

    ReplyDelete
  4. strivingforpeaceNovember 15, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    Thanks Sin -- I've been here before- I'll be here again

    I am who I am.

    @Faithful - that's a good suggestion -- I'll have to think about it (and breathe into a paperbag)

    @Nancy -- thanks -- there's always another Sunday

    sfp

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  5. AnonymousNovember 18, 2011 at 5:51 AM

    Yeah, my suggestion - for whatever that's worth - is plan on going and NOT talking to anyone. Plan on kind of sneaking in and out the first time trying to decide whether or not you even want to talk to anyone there.

    hug,

    aisha

    ReplyDelete
  6. strivingforpeaceNovember 18, 2011 at 7:12 AM

    lol -- of course I like Aisha's suggestion best because it involves me doing the least uncomfortable thing

    sfp

    ReplyDelete

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