Preparations

I'm leaving in about 20 minutes to go see him.

It's a rare Friday night visit -- just for the day -- I'll be back here tomorrow night

and

he's in a dark mood

I've been promised that I will receive pain
and I will learn what it is to be property

last night he sent me to bed
told me to get some sleep
and that he loved me

but that was not going to change anything that was going to happen

which fills me with a combination of anxiety and excitement

I've barely been able to keep my mind on work today
the thought of going there

he has some work to finish after he gets there
and I am imagining

sitting at his feet as he types away
naked
in silence

I have another image

of me

tied down
blindfolded
kept in darkness and silence
reminded on occasion
that I am to be silent
or motionless

with the crop
and a sharp word

for the 30 or 45 or 60 minutes
he needs to finish his work

with just my mind working away
in the silence

yes

that's my fantasy

we'll see in a few hours
(as I have to drive to the BFE)

what he really has in store for me

could be HBO with closed captioning on while he works
could be pain and humiliation

stay tuned.