Psychic

I saw a psychic once

many years ago

It must have been -- I don't know - -maybe 1995 or 1996

I had been married for a few years

and I had a false pregnancy in 1994 -- I stopped getting my periods -- and had symptoms of pregnancy -- but no pregnancy -- I had been told that I might be infertile at that time

which ended up being true -- but at the time was based on almost no evidence at all

I wanted very much to have a child -- if I hadn't wanted kids -- I most likely would not have married at all -- we started trying to get pregnant in 1993 -- so I was a years into the attempt -- but had not yet lost the first pregnancy

A friend of mine who is a big believer wanted to go to a psychic -- and thought it would be a nice treat to take me

I'm not a believer in psychics -- I think it's a load of crap -- I think they're con-men and women who can look at you -- and make some guesses -- and based on the reactions they see -- tiny reactions -- and grab a hold of that information to tell you something you want to hear -- something that will touch you -- something that will draw you back to see them again and again

anyway

I conceded -- what the hell -- it would be fun to see some hokum

She told me a few things

She said that she sees the number 7
that she didn't know if it meant 1997
or
seven years

but that the number 7 was significant

and she said she saw a child
that there was a boy -- and perhaps another child that I might never know
and that this child would be artistic
and very close to my mother.

and it brought me to tears at the time
which I often did at the time -- I'm a weeper

I'm writing about it --because it stuck with me
perhaps because I was pregnant not long from then
and lost it

and I think about how powerful these people are
how I could have gotten sucked in so easily

that there was a lot of mystery in what she said that might have drawn me in

and

(laughing)

before any of you start to tell me that she was the real deal
I have no reason to believe that she was anything other than
a minor con-woman

I wanted to tell someone this story
that I've never told

because I thought of it

in 1997

and in 2003 (7 years)

and in 2007

and now

and even thought it was a load of crap
it was still a powerful moment
that's lasted with me a long long time.