Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Helpless (vanilla post)

Sometimes my job makes me feel so helpless.

I'm stuck

I'm only allowed to do so much

meddle so much

help so much

and then my hands are tied.

I have an employee

and she's

well -- she's broken

another employee came to me today and told me that someone

someone needs to talk to her

because there's something horribly wrong

and I know

I know that things are bad for her

that she's holding onto this life by the fingernails

barely
barely holding on

when she's up -- she's very very up

but now?

now she's down

and she won't go get help
she refuses.

today

today she wouldn't even look me in the eyes
I took her aside to talk to her

and she wouldn't look at me
she talked and talked
and cried
and talked

but

she's not talking to me
she's

she's alone
and

she can't feel me
she can't feel anyone

She talks about ending it
leaving it all behind

and I beg her to get help
reach out

I try to make her promise not to hurt herself
and she tells me not to worry

but she didn't promise.

I tried everything I could think of

finally

the most I could get her to commit to

was a promise

to make it to tomorrow.

that she could promise me
that I would see her tomorrow.

and tomorrow -- I will try again to get her to accept help
and tomorrow -- I will get her to promise that I will see her the next day

what else can I do

5 comments:

  1. I can't imagine what else you could do. It sounds like you're done everything you possibly can.

    She's lucky to have someone around who's so sympathetic and understanding. And caring.

    And call me or email me if you want to.

    hugs,

    aisha

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  2. I don't know... could you a) call the police or her mom or her husband or a friend? or b) fix her problems? If not, then I think you have done what you can, and you keep doing it...

    And my first impulse was to say ask Aisha, she'll know if you can do more, and what to do.
    Good luck.
    -sin

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  3. @Aisha -- thanks -- I needed to hear that

    @Sin -- my hands are tied on this one -- unless she makes an overt threat -- and even then -- I'm her employer -- I can't interfere in her life -- I can just make sure she knows how to get help

    it's hard.

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  4. What Aisha said.

    It sounds like you are doing everything you can, and more than many people would.

    By being persistent and showing her that you personally want to see her tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, and so on, you might just break through.

    Praying for you big sis.

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  5. What an awful situation for both of you.

    It's wonderful that you care enough to try to break through.

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