No way should the government be telling a private company that it will beI've been working on responded to this statement
covered in their policy. Birth control is already available at health
departments around this country. Besides, only one ever got pregnant using
abstinence in the entire history of humans. For us mere morals, it works
every time it has been tried.
Sqoodd
Besides, only one ever got pregnant using abstinence in the entire history of humans. For us mere morals, it works every time it has been tried.
So I would like to talk about sex
yes -- FINALLY -- some sex on the sex blog.
why is sex important?
what does sex do for us -- sociologically
sex bonds people together.
it forms a connection between a couple.
to say that people who cannot afford birth control should abstain isn't reasonable.
the poor are human beings
they have needs
needs for social support
needs to build a family
to pair bond
to connect with another person
sociologically -- sex is part of the reason that your partner stays with you - it is designed to protect the woman and children from abandonment -- to help provide
telling the poor that they should not have sex
is short sighted
it's an imbecilic response
it's not rational.
our poor are under-educated
they often come from broken families
they often come from mothers who were children themselves
making poverty
not an individual problem
but a hereditary curse
I want to live in a world where we provide every person with the opportunity to succeed
to not be trapped
as their mothers
and their mother's mothers were trapped.
yes
I am an idealist
but I am also working for a better world
and I refuse to stand by and idly watch
while conservative lawmakers who have pandered to religious extremists
ruin our fine country
and drag me and every one of my sisters
back into the dark ages.
YAY!! Go SFP!!
ReplyDeleteYou are so perfectly, dead-on right. And you say it so well.
i <3 you.
aisha
Thank you Aisha -- I heart you too
Deletesfp
I love this discourse. I really do.
ReplyDeleteI've been in a sex-less relationship. For a very. long. time.
and I can tell you firsthand that Sex IS important. To say that I shouldn't have sex because I'm of a different socio-economic background and that i got pregnant because I did so is ....
well, i was going to say stupid, but what i really mean is unconscionable.
Someone who thinks that abstenance is the only way is obviously still believing that the people seeking abortions are wild n randy teens.
That just doesn't match with real-life facts and figures. Most women who get abortions are early middle age...30-ish...and not just whores and sluts who fuck recklessly on any dick they see.
(more sex for the sex blog)
The pill, condoms are real and viable means to avoid pregnancy. The cost to tax payers is far less than helping to support a family who may need medicaid, and welfare, for the next18 years.
And education. Gods, education.
But not having sex? Between adults? That's only going to work in poorly written fairy tales.
nilla
I couldn't agree more Nilla -- sfp
Deletesfp,
ReplyDeleteWaves the Pom-poms stolen long ago from Jz...absolutely sex is important to connect with your SO. It works off stress and lets you reconnect in a loving way (even when the relationship isn't about love). Will say when love is present, the intimacy created makes the world fall away for a short time.
To insist that others should simply abstain due to lack of funds is just wrong...
Just as its wrong to simply assume that sex is only for procreation.
Hugs,
mouse
If Sex were only for procreation, we would "go into season" just as many mammals do....there is a reason that we are made to enjoy and seek sex all the time
Deleteand I believe that that is to bind us together forming a more permanent society
it may be a big part of what made humans so successful as a species.
thank you for your thoughts on this
sfp
Sorry, I'm the fly in the ointment here, the dissenting voice.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that even way back in my teens when I was terrified of getting pregnant, I found a way to afford it. It's not that expensive. It's just not. Early on a boyfriend found a way to pay for condoms, but then we decide birth control pills were more certain and I paid for those. And after that I found a way to pay for IUDs. It wasn't free, and when I was a teen and in college I had to think about where the money was going to come from for that.
I did use Planned Parenthood. I assume that they subsidized my purchases. I'm grateful for that. I had jobs though and I paid over my share of what things cost. And I went without luxuries in order to do that.
But I would have gone without a lot of other things to ensure I didn't get pregnant. For me it meant "safe sex" where there weren't going to be unwanted consequences.
I agree that unwanted pregnancy is something to be avoided. Are you seriously saying that it's up to taxpayers to pay up front to avoid paying more down the road?
What else would I as a taxpayer have to pay for?
I'm all for education. And I'm for helping people too. I'm for subsidizing and making available. And I think those new laws where they ultrasound are bullshit. But there's something wrong with this. It's almost like blackmailing the taxpayer, "pay up now or pay more later". People have to help themselves too.
Maybe I don't know how poor people are. Maybe I just don't get it. But it seems to me that a couple of people who want to have sex ought to be able to come up with a couple of bucks to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. No?
I think this is one of those culture shock moments, where I realize we live in different countries and I just don't get how you guys think. Sorry if I'm being offensive, maybe I truly don't get it.
-sin
Sin
DeleteI don't think that you're out of line
but I do think that being a Canadian -- is a bit different. As my understanding is that you have socialized or at least partially socialized medicine in your country.
In the US -- to be eligible for full medical coverage you must live below the poverty level. So what that means is that if you make more than 16,000 a year as a single person with no kids -- you're not eligible.....
but the problem doesn't end there. The conservative party which has been hijacked by the religious right is working to make it more difficult to get healthcare -- including birth control pills. In my state they have defunded planned parenthood for state funds making it more difficult for them to provide services to the poor.
These same lawmakers want to limit sex education to abstinence education - which means that many girls and boys may not understand how to prevent a pregnancy or how to use birth control properly to control disease.
In Canada -- if you get pregnant and you have a job -- you may take off a year to care for your child. Women in the US do not have that ability -- they may take off a total of 12 weeks -- which may include any time before you have the baby for bed rest if ordered. Canadians' have mandated paid time off (including extra pay in some provinces in addition to the paid time) -- the US does not mandate that companies offer any paid time off at all.
It's completely different here.
like another-planet-different.
sfp
You're right, it's all different here. It's not Utopia. And we pay higher taxes. But yes, if you have a baby you have a year off to take care of your child, with pay. The pay is lower, maybe 60% of what you'd normally make up to a maximum amount. There are differences by province too. In some (most?) the father can take some of that leave too.
DeleteIn our system, we don't pay for doctors. We do pay for drugs and for birth control. Though as I said there used to be places that subsidized them like Planned Parenthood. I'm not sure they still do, because I haven't needed them in quite a while.
I think what I was trying to express was the concept of personal responsibility. And probably because of the medical system I've grown up with it seems logical to me that people should be entitled to medical care but should take some personal responsibility for their sexual behaviour.
Sorry to have started a storm on your blog about it.
-sin
oh -- additionally -- a single person with no children would pay over $1000 a year for medical insurance through their company and still be responsible for 20% of medical costs -- if she has children that number will typically double.
ReplyDeletesfp
There are family planning Medicaid programs with higher income levels than what you spoke of. Condoms are available at NO cost at health departments - sacks of 50 at a time. Family planning services as well as STD tests AND education services (and no abstinence, it isn't allowed to be discussed) are provided at health departments. Not Planned Parenthood, I am talking about state funded health departments. I know because I worked for several for over 10 years. I have counted plenty of condoms to bag up. Very few people used them, but it was widely known that they were available.
ReplyDeleteThere are also federally funded, income based medical clinics that also provide dental services. I know because I used them for over 20 years because I have been part of the "working poor" for a long, long time.
Personal responsibility is a dying art.
Btw. I have a college degree and am highly intelligent. I am not "uneducated" or even "under educated". My parents recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. And my mother was 24 years old, married, when she had me, her second child.
When you choose to lump "the Poor" into the stereotypes as many people do, you judge us based on your own view rather than seeing us as the individuals we are who make choices for our own reasons.
There are ways to prevent pregnancy already in place, funded by taxpayers already. I do not believe that any other money should be thrown into the mix, because what is already available is not being utilized. If it is inconvenient, so what? So is an unwanted pregnancy.
And I did have an unwanted pregnancy, so I know whereof I speak. I read your blog for a long time, partly because I am a birth mother who presented an infant for adoption, and I was interested in what you had to say on that topic. But the judgmental, intolerant, name-calling tone of your posts have turned me off completely. I wish you luck, and I know that you will be happy to have lost this particular reader.
@shiava
ReplyDeleteWhile I am sorry to have offended you.
This is my blog
which I write for myself
not for my readers.
I wish you luck in the future
sfp
I did a quick search in my area for these free clinics someone mentioned. Our state no longs funds them, or has underfunded them. Area hospitals have picked up the slack. They have limited hours and appointments are booked far in advance. Planned Parenthood was the only clinic with drop in hours for emergency contraception, std testing, for other non essential services. My guess would be for condoms. They have limited hours (11-6 m-f and from 12-5 on Saturdays. They also close for an hour lunch).
ReplyDeleteSome of the hospital clinics are run by Catholic hospitals. While they do provide a variety of services, they do not offer birth control/condoms. I would not take my cat to one of those clinics, their care is an abomination to the healthcare system. Errors are commonplace along with hellish waits and general incompetence.
It is possible some areas do a better job. I know many, many others who do less.
I do live in a densely populated urban community. If I could qualify for welfare then I could go to any hospital and see any doctor who accepted it. In my area, however, many doctors/hospitals are no longer accepting medicaid and even Medicare patients.
To the other person who mentioned IUDs, they generally do not recommend them unless you have already given birth.
Definitely a topic that generates a ton of issues. I don't think there was any lumping of working poor as non-individuals. Adoption is certainly one choice for moms who find themselves in this position.
ReplyDeleteAnd it is one option that I am extremely grateful for, since all my kids are adopted. But it's not an option for everyone.
The sad fact of the matter is that here in the US it matters where you live, if services for birth control/contraceptives are available.
Yes, being smart about making those decisions is a start...but without access to education that goes beyond "abstaince"...how is a kid to know?
It is definitely a hard cycle to break.
And sfp...this is your blog. You can tell us to all go fuck donkeys if you wanted to... :)
Hugs
nilla
No response from Sqood?
ReplyDeleteI'm with J from part 2. I used to be a member of an organisation that campaigned for free (and safe) abortion and contraception on demand.