Quiet Time

A quick note to let you all know that I'm perfectly ok

just

going to be too busy to blog for a few days

but I have a few right now

so I want to tell you that

I'm struggling
not to follow direction
not to obey

but my body is struggling to obey

struggling to agree with me

not

not GETTING WITH THE PROGRAM


Sir P is much more patient with me than I am with myself

but isn't that how it always is

we hold ourselves to a higher standard than others hold us


so while I'm making progress with kneeling and getting my head right

I am not making progress with keeping the factory in running order
and

it's just going to have to be ok with me
because all Sir P cares is that I'm trying

in some ways

perhaps the fact that I keep trying is even more important than being successful
because

doing things that are frustrating
that make your want to quit
and still doing them?

that does take an act of will to keep it up
and at this point

I just don't want to disappoint him
but

now that the house is quiet (finally)

it's time to get naked
get on my knees
and

get my mind right

again