Saturday, February 16, 2013

Bad stuff

So today I found out about what type of bad stuff is in the kid's background
and I'm sure there's more that didn't make it into the court documents

actually

I don't really know what all happened because the person who printed the documents didn't have a toner cartridge -- so there were big white stripes on the paperwork.

it was like listening to it on a cell phone that was cutting in and out

but the stuff I did hear
was not good stuff


it is surprising that they haven't been in care before
and I don't think they'll be going home any time soon

there is a greater chance that they'll decide they need to go to another family member
or that they'll decide that the other 2 kids (not in care) need to come into care and they want them all together.

So what does that mean to me

absolutely nothing

ultimately

it doesn't change anything I will do
it doesn't change anything I will tell the girls
it doesn't change how I will feel about them
or plans that I will make

it changes nothing

I've long since decided that I will never give part of my heart to any child
that they get it all
every time

otherwise

what's the point

after all
scarred muscles grow back stronger.
and I have plenty of love to go around.


5 comments:

  1. you are soooo strong. I'm in awe.

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  2. I wish you all best. What you said about giving them you heart that is the only way to be and you can give them 100% love which is a thing the kiddos ha e never had or felt. We only do permannt fostering till the child is 18/19. Tohave them taken away would devastat us. As for what realy went on it will come out in time and all you can do is jus listen I do admire you doing it alone
    Hugs Ashly xx

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  3. What lucky children they are to be in your home and heart for now. They are truly blessed.

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  4. Only one word came to my mind.

    ANGEL

    That is what you are sfp.

    Truly an angel and an inspiration to me.


    ~faithful

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