Another week completed

So we've survived the first 2 weeks -- and other than a few bruises

we are no worse for wear

the girls are settling in
we are getting a routine
and we are becoming a family

Yes -- I dream of the day when I am able to say more to girls than just

flush the toilet
have you brushed your teeth
and no -- it's 31 degrees- -you cannot wear your shorts.

Today we are waiting for the casa worker to come -- she is a volunteer child's advocate - and important part of the process.

in the meantime

Sir P and I are growing closer
he's becoming very important to me
and very important to the balance in this house

even though he's not here

he's someone I've been able to talk to
when the stories from the girls make me want to cry

liar

when the stories from the girls make me cry

when he assigned me masturbation every other night - -and as much more often as I want
I thought

well - I'll do it because he tells me to

I think I thought that a big part of its was just making time for it

but that's not it

it's that the stress and pressure and exhaustion literally SUCK THE SEXUALITY OUT of life

perhaps it's a good way to keep you from having more kids if the ones you have are stressing you out - -by making you have sex less?

so while I am able to perform the act of masturbation

cumming is not necessarily coming easily

I have to approach it from different angles
and sometimes

I have to concede
and move on

until I can perform a sneak attack
and finish my task

because this is a vital part of me
and I don't want to go back to that girl
who never had sex
and thought she didn't care

this girl is a much happier girl.