so after writing a sweet little poem
that was partly about Him - and partly about the kiddos
as I was feeling quite mushy about them last night
when they were sweetly asleep
today
I'm plotting a double homicide.
KK has decided that she is NOT going to learn her multiplication tables -- and has outright refused to do anything to learn them
We've now had 2 full on tantrums about it
and I get not knowing how to do it
but seriously?
refusing to even try?
and here's my thing
she does know some of it
because she did 3 of the problems yesterday - but refuses to even think about any of them today
perhaps it's the only things she has any control over.
so
I have to decide
do I dig in super hard?
and allow no privileges as long as there is 0% effort being made towards homework or even trying to lean her times tables
OR
do I acknowledge that this is at least in part about having control
about melting down over mom
sigh
do I get her a tutor?
and what's the point of a tutor if she has a fit and won't do the work?
so - here we are
it's too late tonight
but they both needed baths
and they're driving me mother fucking insane
Sir P to me: Take a deep breath in through the nose -- and out through the mouth
Me: Why Sir -- will that make my aim better?
Use M&M's , Skittles or something fun like that to make her understand her X tables. Of course not right before bed time :) then maybe Raisins are in order. Finding a counter they like is sometimes the key to understanding it. Of course letting them eat the reward is what makes them want to learn.
ReplyDeleteThey all go through it, some of it I am sure is control, or Mom issues, or frustration or just BECAUSE. (I have learned that not all meltdowns have an specific reason).
Sir P is smart and funny- I can see your humor and his mesh well!
~faithful
The breathing dose better your aim. Kids are a funny things. One of ours was the same and we found out she had a cosentration problem and found it hard to read numbers. Got a bit of therapy now she is right as rain.
ReplyDeleteJust keep in there you are not alone. Smile and don't let them get you down
Hugs Ashly xx
Lol... she will eventually learn the multiplication tables. i can remember my Dad quizzing me on them over and over, while i stood in front of him, guessing half the time. When i got one right, he'd give me a - an M&M maybe? Or a nut? Either way, i felt like a dog, and felt anxious and miserable, and hated, hated, hated it.
ReplyDeleteIf it were me, i would assure her that you know she'll learn them when she's ready, and if it's hard, you'll be glad to help her, but she's the only one who can decide to memorize them. But you know, i'm pretty laid back. And i could be totally wrong.
Also - and i remember this vividly - our whole class got an ice cream party when everyone had learned them, and me and this guy named Kim, who was kind of an outcast too, were the only ones who hadn't learned them at one point, and i can remember being very clear with myself that i wasn't going to demonstrate that i'd learned them til he did too. Funny, huh? You just never know what's going on in a kid's head. i never, ever told anyone that - maybe not til right now.
I read this last night, and had to sleep on my reply.
ReplyDeleteso, here's the thing, from a homeschooler's perspective.
You *can't* "make" her learn. And she's trying to get under your skin ...so just shrug and walk away. Let the school deal with the consequences....it is *VERY* hard to let school stay at school, and let home be home. But there is nothing to be gained by shoving the multiplication tables at her, either. She'll learn...or she won't. That's not on you.
So, I'd say no tutor, and if you can, back away from the arguing...it will only make her MORE resistant to learning.
Hug,
nilla
I have horrid vivid memories of multiplication. Never did never could memorize them. And it did hurt me academically, for a few years, then I got older and it didn't matter anymore. life moved onto math instead of arithmetic. And - well, I've gone pretty far with science and math since then.
ReplyDeleteI do know that multiplication coincided with some awful stuff in my life, and I'm sure the battles had more to do with all the other stuff and not times tables. I know that the harder my parents dug in, the harder i did. I'm learning more and more that what nilla says is true: you can't make someone learn. And, they need you, she needs you, for the mom you are for her in the big picture. And it is - it is so hard.
Honestly, don't know what to say. Kiddo has issues learning his multiplication tables...instead of digging in, mouse decided to validate his frustrations. Cause it about control and things just being hard and not wanting to deal with hard. What mouse did was write a note to the teacher, asking if she could adjust the lesson...work on what was easier to accomplish.
ReplyDeleteNow, having said that kiddo is a special needs kid...so you can take away what you will from that.
Just sending really big hugs....
mouse
Pick your battles, sfp Explain why learning this is important..Offer the incentives (m&m, pennies, whatever), and if she doesn't go for it, don't dig in, walk away. When she is ready she'll let you know.
ReplyDeleteOne of the hardest parts of parenting for me is remembering that their performance/motivation/ability is not a reflection on you. I know I've done what mouse did, a note to the teacher, on more than one occasion.Even just a quick note to explain my strategy and why things weren't being done is appreciated. I find that most teachers are more than willing to be an ally and work wiht you if you keep them in the loop.
Hmmm...what about going through the backdoor of music....listen to the SchoolHouseRock Math songs... skip counting will come like second nature after you listen to them long enough. Conjunctions, Adverbs, Adjectives, Bills, The Preamble of the Constitution...lots more too :)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with the whole pick your battles. She won't go to college not knowing her times tables. Breathing helps with A LOT of things.
Hugs,
fiona
"and they're driving me mother fucking insane"
ReplyDeletehahahaahahaahahahaahahaha
OMG, sfp, you're a MOM!!!
omg, I could talk at length about multiplication tables. I have a kid who wouldn't/couldn't learn them. And I tried everything. Rewards, drills, picking my battles, walking away, bribery, rewards, battles, drills, games. You name it, I tried it. Kid still doesn't have them as solidly as he should but... better. Not sure how old yours is, but I have whatever advice you need on any given day on times tables. AND... there's probably no one right solution for this, it's not a one day problem, it's ... okay, it's driving me mother fucking insane.
ReplyDelete-sin