Sir P and I were talking about talismans today
and their importance
well
what we were actually talking about was the idea of him sending me a shirt to sleep with -- which I think was more of a fantasy - than an offer
it's early days
it's the time when you try ideas on for size
rather than the time to going to the hamper and UPSing me a care package.
and things have never had a lot of value to me - I don't crave gifts -- flowers, cards, jewelry -- has never meant as much to me as time and effort
and perhaps I've been too much that way
because
here's a confession
other than the purchase of a paddle -- or other sex toy
no man has given me a present since I was married.
yeah
things I don't mention on the blog
because it makes you sound like a greedy bitch
but neither Mr. C -- nor M-- ever gave me a card, a flower, a present - not for anniversaries - not for christmas - not for birthdays
not ever.
which is not to say that they were not giving generous men
and I guess you can't have it both ways
you can't tell a man that gifts aren't that important
and then be a little off put by not getting a gift.
but there it is
I'm a girl who would like to have a gift from time to time
something to hold in my hand
as I thought of him
so
it's sort of funny writing this - because it sounds like I'm saying to Sir P
hey!
send me something
and I am not saying that
and he'll read this -- so there's that weirdness
we're not at that point anyway
and - -I'm sort of wondering why I'm writing this at this point
but I guess it's that
the idea
of having something with me
that was with him
is a very sweet
very romantic idea
and one I like very very much.
PS -- during this text exchange I actually typed:
ReplyDelete"I might actually keep all of your shits"
and then panicked
"shirts -- SHIRTS"
sfp
Lmao... Or Freudian typo....hmmmm do those work the same way?
ReplyDeleteIt's tricky. I have similar thoughts on "items"....things. But I do desire thoughtfulness and caring and time. So sometimes that means that the person may have spent their time and energy THINKING about a gift for me.
Hugs,
Fiona
But there's something about an object in an LDR...
ReplyDelete-sin
Master has given me 3 gifts...he brought me roses on our very first meeting...and I kept one petal, which I still have. He gave me a collar, and this year on my birthday, a box of chocolates and a card.
ReplyDeleteHe's not much for physical gifts either...and I --just like you--don't need "stuff"...but I can tell you that I cried and smiled when he gave me the gifts this year...and it meant *so much*...maybe because He isn't a "gift-giver"...? I understand where you are coming from, that you're not asking Sir P for "stuff" but writing this was brave...it's hard to be so open sometimes, isn't it?
nilla
And you women wonder why we guys have so much trouble. "I don't want gifts...I don't need gifts...I don't need material things...I just need you". But then behind our backs to your friends you're complaining about not ever getting any gifts. Geesh! (bangs head against wall) And if the guy bought you a gift you'd be saying that you told him you didn't want anything, but thank you anyway. This is a lose/lose situation no matter what for a man. Obviously, Men are from Mars and women are from a whole other galaxy! :)
ReplyDeleteDV
As a side note which I failed to mention earlier...as much as I kid about what galaxy all you women are from (and each one seems to come from their own galaxy and not even the same one), I agree it's the thought that counts. It's doing something without having to be told to show you care. It's the gesture and the meaning behind it, not what they get you...the intent and effort. And from all you have said about Sir P, my guess at this point is that he would give you the shirt/shit off his own back if you wanted it and it meant something special to you. He just seems like that kind of guy.
DeleteDV
This really resonated with me. I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately (Valentine's Day, I'm looking at you . . .). For me, I guess it comes down to making it very clear that, in order to care for me, you do not need to shower me with diamonds or trips to Fiji, and, in the absence of true affection, gifts will never replace real care and concern. HOWEVER, when I do receive these things (flowers, not Fiji ;)), I am elated. Knowing this about myself, I still find it nearly physically painful to actually say, "I don't know why but, this is important to me."
ReplyDeleteI guess "I saw this and thought of you" can be a very powerful sentence.
Let him (or the city he lives in) keep his shits.
ReplyDeleteI, too, would like a small token of affection to have as a reminder. Its hard to say that without sounding
a. like a greedy, entitled bitch
b. like a psycho that wants to smell his clothes
c. like a psycho that wants to lift the DNA off of his shirt to clone him (or is that just me?) I kid, I kid.
I got a card from DC for VDay. It was heartfelt and I knew he spent some time agonizing over which one to pick, and it was all I needed. Maybe I'll steal a shirt from his house.
I so understand not wanting the things.. but wanting some thing that he had..and gave to you.
ReplyDeleteSir has given me only a few things.. but not jewels but priceless.
yes!
ReplyDeleteThank you DV for *getting* this!!!...we may come from different places (Mars, Venus, whereever!), but we all want to feel that we have value...and "asking" for a treasure is...nearly impossible for many of us sub-types...but receiving one?Is an *awesome* and wondrous thing...a gift of caring from one who means so much to us. It could be a shirt or a sock...the "what" of it is of far less consequence than the fact of it being given, freely, unasked for.
nilla