oh - um -- punishment?

So after I posted  my last entry - -and I chatted with Sir P about the not blogging thing

I was informed that he had settled on my punishment

he had told me earlier today that my punishment was under review
but if I'm honest

I wasn't sure I was going to get one at all

I spent about 20 minutes crying this morning
and received absolution

and I asked to table the talk about it during the day - -so I could pull my shit together and be in mom-mode

and

I wondered if he would
or if he decided that I was remorseful enough

we had discussed punishment in the past
and had considered if it was even possible long distance

after all - some punishments do more harm than good

right?

for example - if he gave me the silent treatment?

that's just going to make me more distant and disconnected
it might make me fail to tell him things in the future

but

here I am

faced with a punishment to do tonight

and no - I'm not stalling - but I am waiting to make sure that the little ears have gone to sleep before I get after it.

I am to take 3 photos

one of my breasts in the mirror - no bra - -tank or tshirt

one without the tshirt
and one - with clothespins on my nipples

which I am to wear while kneeling for as long as they can be withstood -- but no less than 5 minutes.

none of which is easy for me
and none of which falls under enjoyable for me

and

let's face it

the punishment fits the crime

and I seriously doubt my mind will wander during my time on my knees.

additionally - this is a mandatory masturbation night (which I don't think he realizes) -- so God willing I am back on track.

as I write this

I realize I sound as if I'm resenting it

and I'm not

I'm sort of glad.

it's a way to demonstrate that I'm in
that I'm going to work on this
and

it's not something I would want to do again

not this
and not the awful feeling of disappointing him
when in the past I've only made him proud

but - a way to get myself refocused?

that's a good thing

and I'm ready for that

by the time this posts -- it will all be in the past
and it will be a new day