Thursday, February 14, 2013

Stress

Things are insanely stressful at case sfp

If you're friends with me in real life -- you'll notice that you're not hearing much from me

that's because mommy-dom is eating my lunch.

The girls are starting to open up about all that's happened to them
the guilt of having "told" is hard to bear

as well as what it was that they told about

right now -- I'm barely having time to reach out to Sir P

who has more than once put humpty dumpty back together again

things are hard

and

yes

I am up to it

but the level of stress is nearly crushing

It's an hour 1/2 past bedtime and I still don't have everyone asleep
and I'm not sure how long it will take

I need time and space to work things out
but the world doesn't much want to give it to me

there's little time for friends
so I am a bit isolated
which

at the moment is ok
because I don't feel that I can much talk about it

it's a stressful time

what an awesome time for a sugar holiday to rev up the kiddos

like any of us needed that

fuck

I want a magic wand
to freeze everyone in place -

so I can dye my hair
and take a nap
and clean my fucking house

Where's Endora when you need her?

but little by little - we will get there
little by little we will heal
we will get all the bad stuff out
the good will start to feel more real than the bad stuff
in time

trust will grow

wounds will scab over
and
slowly
slowly

things will be better.

9 comments:

  1. Just keep at it. For your kiddos if thay are talking about there old life that is good , it will take a long time for them to get it all of there chests. Things will get better! Hope my few words from Germany help you

    Ashly Xx

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  2. Thank you Ashly -- I really appreciate your support -- particularly since I know you've been there!

    sfp

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  3. It's good they are talking. It shows that they do trust you or at least they are starting to. I'm sure things will get better over time. They usually do.

    *hugs*

    Turiya

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  4. Yes.

    Sending love and hugs and lots of energy...

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  5. Sounds like you are handling it all as best you can and that is all you can do.

    Friends, Family and even Sir P will understand.

    Dust Bunnies? They will wait.

    ~faithful

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  6. Hang in there sfp. We all know it can be hard and stressful. Sometimes you have to take a step back, catch your breath (even if just for 5 mins), and regain some perspective. You are doing the best thing possible...being there for those girls. AS for Sir P, if he is the man you say he is, he will understand without question. I'm sure he will do all he can for you, and be there in what ever way you need. Keep your chin up...you're doing better than many of us could.

    DV

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  7. SFP, sometimes it's simply the Little Engine that Could....keep repeating, "I think I can, I think I can" and eventually you'll realize, you're to the point that you're chanting "I thought I could, I thought I could." as you've crested the hill. Parenting is like that, though. Sometimes it can be oppressively difficult, stressful, verve wracking, etc. But the joy and smiles and love is balancing!!

    Take care of you too.
    ~fiona

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  8. I'd like to say something profound and helpful, but parenting is hard and messy, and oh so rewarding (like a good beating, not so great while it's happening, but after, oh yeah!)The only thing simple about parenting is the hugs.

    If you don't need to vent, and don't have the time, don't worry about us, we'll wait around for you. Just post a smiley face once in a while so we know you're alive and kicking. :) You know, like FFF, TMI Tuesday, or HNT? It can be SFP's SFS, Smiley Face Sunday.

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  9. You have been given some really beautiful advice here. I wish I had some special words of encouragement or advice, but I don't.

    As always, I am here to support you and the girls in any way you need.

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