I have a lot of choices to make
when I started my process I thought I knew what I wanted -- I wanted a girl between the ages of 2 and 8 -- relatively healthy with at most a few special needs
I'm single -- and I have to know my limitations
as I've gone through the process -- those parameters have opened up.
I hate to say that I won't consider a boy -- or an older child -- or more than one
but it's caused a complication --
because I do have to choose
I do have to express preferences
Last year when the kiddo was living with me -- she said something interesting out of the blue one day
"You should get a girl -- you're too sweet for a boy"
lol
My kiddo comes from a pretty tough place - -where parents teach their kids to be pretty tough
but I do think that I would be a better mom to girls
because I lack strong men in my day to day life for a boy to look up to
don't get me wrong -- if you're a woman who has boys -- I'm not saying that you're not the best mom ever for them
I'm saying that I don't think that I have the boy mojo
whatever that is -- I wish my brother lived closer.
you know of course
this means that it'll be a boy for sure
because that's how things work
sfp
So many decisions. You will be the best for whomever you choose. So glad you are sharing all this with us! You need a PO box so we can send baby shower gifts (once you decide of course) LOL
ReplyDeleteMindset
I love the way your contrary mind works -mine's like that too.
ReplyDeleteYou'll know when it's right. It might not be a boy... but if it is, you'll figure out how to make it work.
hug,
aisha
LOL Mindset -- I don't think there's much in the way of baby shower gifts for older child adoption -- but that would be lovely
ReplyDelete@Aisha -- prepare for all contingencies -- we are very practical.
And I would probably strangle any girl-type I raised.
ReplyDeleteGive me a boy anytime.
But still, your child is your child is your child.
And yours will be lucky, no matter their gender.
As a mom to both flavors, i'd like to offer an observation; my son is 20 years old, my girls 16 and 14, and through the years, i've realized that they all needed the same thing from me. Just my never-ending, unconditional love, and a full refrigerator(that's really really important). And when you're hugging a child, it doesn't matter which they are...and you have enough love to go around, sweetie. You'll be great!!
ReplyDeleteI wanted a girl desperately...I have two boys. And you know what I realized? I would have to throttle a girl before she came of age. So I'm glad I have boys.
ReplyDeleteI think adoption is harder because you have to make these choices. But whoever you pick will be a lucky kid.
And who knows, maybe you will find one that speaks to your heart so much it doesn't matter if they are a girl or a boy.
Because they will be yours.
Wishing you luck as always.
thank you all for your support -- again - not that I think I can't be a mom to boys -- but lacking men in my daily life -- in my potential-son's daily life
ReplyDeleteI think that might not be what's best
but again
life is funny
and I may not be the best mom -- but if I have a boy -- I will be HIS mom.
How strange to "choose", to get to choose. It must feel, in an odd way, like a rejection of all the other children who need someone?
ReplyDeleteAnd baby shower gifts/adoption gifts, wouldn't they just be a celebration of this new part of your life? I think it's a cool idea.
I love that you are sharing this with us btw.
Yes Sin -- that's exactly how I feel
ReplyDeletethere's a wrongness to choosing -- that I can't shake loose from
and I'm happy to be able to share all of how I feel with someone
there's a freedom to it
sfp
Don't feel bad. I have no idea whatsoever what I would have done with a boy.
ReplyDelete