where sfp tries something completely different (pt 2)

So I called H (the hypnotherapist) and we talked awhile and made an appointment

when I made the appointment to see the therapist - I was FREAKED OUT

but I felt excited and energized as soon as I made the appointment with H

like I was on a grand adventure


Now

a part of me knows that this is a VERY SUBBY thing to do -- right?
trust someone enough to go into a trance

particularly when you don't know anything about this stuff?

a great little hit of power exchange


but

mostly?

I was happy to be trying something -- ANYTHING to make a positive change

even if it failed

so I got to his office -- of course I was early - -because I'm a freak

it's how I roll

and waited

H and I talked for awhile about my goals -- and about how this trance thing works

and I must admit -- I was hopeful -- but skeptical

could I really be hypnotized?

it seemed unlikely

I sort of think of it like keeping tinkerbelle alive -- you have to believe and clap your hands

I was pretty sure that little fairy was doomed

but

what the fuck right?

don't fail for failing to try

so I sat

feet flat on the floor
and eyes on a spot on the wall

hands sort of sideways on my knees

comfortable
and yet
not in a completely natural position

not one that I would maintain for long

and I stared at the wall and listened to him

and I fought the urge to look at him when he spoke

he admonished me and jokingly threatened a beating if I didn't focus on the wall

which made me smile

I do miss Doms

and focused back on the spot I had chosen

my mind eventually turning the word Thanks -- written in scroll work into a nonsensical squiggle

like saying the same word over and over out loud until it becomes just a sound
a visual mantra

I closed my eyes
and just listened

and thought

this isn't going to work

and I listened
and relaxed

and a part of me noted

that I could not move my handa

I knew that I could if I wanted to
if I really wanted to
but I did not want to

and that part of me that was aware - -and taking notes -- saying "veeeeery eeeenteresting" -- picked up her pad and jotted down the observations

and I had to admit

that I was in a trance

and step one was underway

(again -- if you were looking for Chapter 12 -- page down -- it's down there   - -or stay tuned here to find out what happened next because real life is more fun)