Sunday, December 16, 2012

I need to be beaten

I need a beating

not a spanking

a beating

I need to be under his thumb

and beaten past the point of caring

to curl up at his feet
when its all over

and float

I need a beating so badly that I actually in a moment of weakness messaged one of the contenders from a  few years back -- I called him D

no - you can't go back and read about him - he's been deleted.

He was a delicious Dom

who gave me the most intense beating of my life

and treated me rather badly as well (but it's amazing how easily we forget that)

I just sent him a note to say hello

but I knew

it was a fucking booty call

he did not respond (thank God) -- because he is as Sin says, chocolate covered crack

the last thing I need

and I yearn for it

but no beating is in the cards

I am denied



6 comments:

  1. Ohhhhh, i'm so sorry.

    hugs,

    aisha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It will bet better

      or it will not -- and THEN it will get better.

      sfp

      Delete
  2. It's interesting how a person can need this sort of thing. But it's a release that you need to be able to let go of everything else. That release is a pleasure within itself even when it's pain that causes it. It's being able to go blank, even if for just a while, let go of everything else, and to just be in that moment. Even as a Dom, there are times that I have found that I need to be able to give that, which has surprised me about myself. Yet, that need is there. So in a way I know how you feel, and being denied and not getting what you need most can be difficult.

    DV

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @DV

      Thank you for the other side of it.
      I appreciate the support

      sfp

      Delete
  3. sweetie- sorry you are in such pain.

    You need a beating but it has to be from the right person.
    (gosh that sounds weird even to write).

    I completely get the want and need however.

    Sending **hugs** and easier days/nights ahead.

    ~faithful





    ReplyDelete