M is having a rough holiday
not with his family
and not with me
and not wanting to be with me
wanting to wallow a bit
which is his choice.
and it's interesting to me
how just one day
one isolated day
of limited contact
of
moodiness on his part
makes me feel
a bit shaken.
and it strikes me that
it's a bit of a combination
of conceit
and insecurity
conceit
that everything
EVERYTHING
I make about me
and insecurity
that one day
of not being the
center of attention
means that it's the beginning of the end.
(laughing)
we are a strange bunch.
Christmas isn't for everyone is it?
ReplyDeleteI don't think one day of separation means the beginning of the end, but I can understand that it might feel that way sometimes.
Wishing you connection.
-sin
OMG, i can totally relate to this!!! And thank goodness we can take a step back and recognize that what's happening inside us isn't quite rational, but omigosh, it can be fierce!
ReplyDeletehugs,
asiha
I'm okay with no contact for a few days unless there was some kind of tension the last time we were together, then I worry if he doesn't call.
ReplyDeleteDon't be too hard on yourself - it may only be one day but at this time of year we are allowed to be a bit " wobbly". Deep breaths. X
ReplyDeleteMen are so good at compartmentalizing that a day of separation or disconnect is much easier for them.
ReplyDeleteDo something for yourself today to make you feel good.
Tomorrow will be brighter!
~faithful
Yes, definitely what faithful said, men are very good at compartmentalizing. I know Master totally compartmentalizes me. He only thinks of me when he gets horny, and then he only texts if he has a window of opportunity coming up that day or the next that he wants sex during. He doesn't text just to say hi.
ReplyDeleteI, on the other hand, think about him all the time, and have to resist the constant temptation to text just to say I'm thinking about him, or to give him updates on every detail of my life.
Day 11/18
ReplyDeleteHugs