Closure

So

out of the blue

Mr C wrote me

said he's going to be in my area
he's hunting for this year's not new gift
for kids

and wanted to have dinner

I emailed M
asked if he would mind

got permission
and a thank you for asking

funny

old me would have been a bit
indignant

why should I ask

I should TELL

but not ASK

things change

I asked
and received permission


and had dinner with Mr. C

and

lol

it was fine

no crying
no angst

well -- a bit of nervousness on my way there

but fine

and

yeah.

it's done
over

he's not nothing to me
he's my friend

I needed to meet him
I needed to love him
and
I needed to get my heart broken by him
and heal from it
and be ok

you know
I was always the one who broke up with guys
not the other way around

he needed to meet me
love me
and
frankly
needed to be the one to stop loving first.

because
women were always breaking his heart
and he needed to find out that someone could love him
longer

we were not for each other
but we needed each other

so

that's my theory
and he's not here to refute it

and I imagine he would
argumentative bastard that he is

and

neither of us
would be where we are today
happy in our new relationships

without the time we had with each other

sometimes I'm striving for peace
and sometimes
I'm just peaceful.