Keeping track

When he got here

well -- not right away
there were some things before this

he told me

"you better keep track (of the orgasms)"
"if you lose track -- we'll wash all of these away -- and you won't be allowed the marks any more"

I immediately had an image
and image of the hash marks the represent my orgasms
being washed off

me
sad
ashamed

having them taken away

I was studious in keeping track

I mentally quibbled over number 5
since it was small
in comparison

and I rejoiced in number 6

held in his arms
allowed to masturbate for him

completely free
enclosed in his protection

so

this morning -- I'll add 6 marks
to the 14 I started with

and

hopefully

I'll add quite a bit more.