So BB and I met on Saturday
and we've texted a bit
and had some rushed phone calls
but there hasn't been an extended call since then
and it's Wednesday.
we're both busy people with lots on our place
and
I do think he's interested
but I don't know if he has the time for what he wants
last night he took his son to a game
and I touched base via text
but
I needed sleep before he was home again and able to call
I've decided that my plan to give this to Feb 1 is a sound one.
we'll either have a plan to meet -- or we won't
and
we'll see.
He's a good man
and I like him
but is he too much like M with too many commitments to really see me?
or like B
(oh -- apparently I told B "you don't have time to fuck me, you certainly don't have time to talk to me" -- ouch -- what a bitch
who is ending up keeping his deal to stay friends
which is cool.)
BB did warn me that Tuesday was going to be a crazy day for him
but
I'm feeling a bit let down - anyway
I'll give this a few more days
and then
I'll have to decide
there has to be a balance between a man who doesn't contact me enough and a man who wants to wear my skin as a hat.
It's hard, this juggling of lives, isn't it? Trying to make it all fit in...and sometimes it doesn't.
ReplyDeleteBTW...I don't think what you said to B was bitchy, but bald truth. Sometimes people need to hear that and *see* what they are doing to you. Just my opinion, of course, but then, I've been called bitchy too... :)
nilla
@Nilla -- it is hard -- and I wonder if his life is just too busy to have the kind of D/s he wants.
Deletemaybe - we'll see.
and B didn't think it was bitchy either -- a bit harsh -- but he also said it was true.
sfp
I have a lot going on in my mind on what to say, how to say it.
ReplyDeleteSo I will just say it :)
I am not sure of what the rush is to have him be "the one" so quickly. You are already putting time limits on your relationship?
If I was thinking like a guy (vanilla or D/s doesn't matter) I would be like..whoa, whoa, slow down there girl. We only met ONCE and now I have rules on how often I should be contacting you or seeing you.
Okay perhaps that is too harsh, but hopefully you get my point.
Organically relationships take time to grow. At least the sustainable ones.
I understand your need/want to know or not know, but sometimes it doesn't work that way.
Hopefully no offense taken- just wanted to share my thoughts.
Sending Hugs and hopefully today was a good day!
~faithful
Dear Faithful,
DeleteRespectfully, you are off base on this one.
BB's expectation of me at this stage is that I will say Hello to him ever morning and report my whereabouts during the day. That I stop talking to other potential Doms and that I ask for permission to do anything outside my ordinary routine.
My expectation is that he call me.
hardly criteria for him being "the one"
frankly - it's the criteria for getting to still be my friend at all.
so - expecting that he will meet the minimum criteria to be my man by Friday - is frankly -not to high a standard -- it's most likely too low.
sfp
sfp- appreciate the clarity (not that you had to do that of course). Understand your expectations now. You have every right to get what you want/need and nothing less because that is what works for you. This entire D/s thing is not easy to understand sometimes and hopefully he is living up to his side of the deal especially with giving you rules and such at such an early stage.
DeleteHope I can still be your friend too :)
~faithful