Dear SFP

Dear SFP,

I've been trying to meet a nice sub on collar me -- but those bitches just delete my messages and never respond - don't they know that I'm their Master and they should get on their knees and feel blessed that I found them?

 -- Dateless Dom in Dallas


Dear Dateless,

Perhaps it's your approach.  Here are some tips for getting the bitches to read your message and start to see you for the fine Master we're all sure you are:

1.  Write an opening message that lets her know that you're interested in who she is.  Ineffective messages include:  "Hey", "Good Morning", "Watchadoin'"; and "I'll pay you to pee on my face".

2.  In your message, tell her something about yourself, and indicate that you've read her profile -- mention something, anything about her profile that you like.  If you can't think of anything, perhaps your standards are too low.

3.  Have an idea of what you want.  Do not wait for her to tell you what she is so you can tell her that you're her exact match - you're a Dom for God's sake - act like one.

4.  Don't send her a photo of your penis.  Unless you plan to have your penis hanging out in Starbucks for her to recognize you -- she doesn't want to see your penis at this stage - and certainly not before she hears "hello".  This is especially true if your penis looks  like an elephant's trunk.

5.  Update your profile with some details of who you are -- and what you're looking for.  Commit.  Don't worry that you'll scare her away - she's either up for who you are - -or she's not.

6.  Maybe rethink your name -- Cuntstretcher; Pigslutmaster, GodofPiss are not the names that are going to attract many a sub -- just a thought.

and last but not least

remember - that your nightmare of an online date is that she might be fatter or older than her photos.

her nightmare of an online date involves being skinned and shoved into your trunk.

Give a girl a break.

 -- Happy Hunting

Striving for Peace