Catching up

ok -- some little notes on the various people in my world:

The COWBOY

I've decided the Cowboy is out

because

well - there's these little things that bug me about him -- like

• He thinks Jerry Springer is hilarious
• When I express a concern -- he's told me I should "lighten up"
• He was considering driving an hour yesterday after coming back to the ranch to play slots at the casino (really?  You want to drive to the next state to sit and feed your hard earned money into a hole in a smoky room and drink watered down liquor? -- I can give you a piggy bank and close the flue on the fireplace at home and you can get the same thing - right at home)

BB 

BB is still around -- even though he asked for another day to meet -- and is still not able to meet with me this weekend -- a family crisis.

If I didn't know for sure that he's not a scammer -- I would think he was - because that's how the scammers work -- right?  they always have a reason why you can't meet them?

and besides -- scamming me is fruitless -- if I won't go to the casino I sure as fuck won't send money to anyone.

but I still want to talk to him

and want to meet him

and as long as I can find a deep connection like that with someone

I'm not going to settle for a shallow connection with someone else.

TK

 

I had fun with TK last night -- the movies were a blast

and

yes -- he tickled the crap out of me

and 

I'm even more ticklish than I thought I was

I laughed myself into an asthma attack

aaaand because I never have those -- I didn't have my inhaler (BAAAAAD girl)

it's good for me to be touched by someone 

we all go way too much time without being touched.

The Pilot

oh- - there was this guy a few years ago who I went out with - I can't remember his name and I deleted him from the blog anyway

but

I decided he was lying to me about something

something big -- I didn't know what -- and I didn't care

He's the one that would pick me up in his car -- and drive to other side of the city (over an hour) to have a date

ashamed of me?

avoiding his wife?

looking for a place to dump my body?

I didn't know - but I ran away

and made him mad doing it.

well -- he messaged me on CM and I said I would chat - when he sent me his IM name -- I knew if

SHIT!

so I told him who I was and we'll wait to see what he says (yikes!)

 

and finally

on a bit of a sad note

The Captain

I got a message from The Captain yesterday

It just said that he had had a death in the family

it's unclear when this happened

but

explains the radio silence

well - as much as anything explains him.

the truth is -- I will always like The Captain -- he's this strong, uber dominant figure

who is more than a bit detached

but

is someone I like - and enjoy having in my life.

and I'm sorry that he's hurting.