What goes up - -must come down

I fucking hate it when they see their family
it must take 5 days for them to get back to normal

and then we have about 9 days of ok
and then back to horrible.

as I wrote the words "back to normal" - I wonder if this really is normal
maybe the good stuff is abnormal for them

fuck

I don't know

all I know is that things are really fucking bad here right now

everyone's hurting
and frustrated

KK is so fucking defiant I don't know how do deal with it

I swear I could chop off her foot and she would just say, "SO?  That all you got?!?"

until I end up napalming her again

and she melts down

tonight

she refused to follow any direction
including walking to the car

she crawled to the fucking car on her hands and knees

why?

she couldn't figure out how to open up the easter eggs and was dismayed that the variety of candy in them was insufficient

sigh

that and

I'm not her mom

I ended up giving her some clemency
because I was at the point where she had no TV for the next 2 days
and RED for today and tomorrow
which doesn't help anyone

she finally refused to get out the car
she was crying so hard

so I asked for an apology and got it
and fined her all her TV credits in her jar
and carried her into the house

I can't wait until she's old enough to call me a cunt and slam the door

that'll be fucking awesome.

things will be better in a few days

but right now?

it's fucking awful
and I hate this

I feel like I'm in parent bootcamp
and the drill sergeant has just kicked my ass
again

fuck.