Sunday, March 4, 2012

Not Reading

Aisha got me thinking about M not reading my blog

he does not read here
he could easily find it if he wanted to

I would give him the address
but he has not asked for it
and we have discussed what a valuable outlet it is.

I sometimes cut and paste a post
and I send him links to my vanilla blog

when he gets them
he reads just that entry
and nothing else

and there's power in that
isn't there?

it's not a secret blog
he knows it is there
he knows he could find it
he could ask for it
I would give it

but he chooses not to

I am MORE vulnerable
because I continue to write
honestly
with the risk
that he could read
and I would not know

I give him my trust

lol

I have not even asked him NOT to read it
but I trust that he will not
because
I know how amazing he is

He has control
not only of me
but of himself.

and it's a beautiful thing
to trust him so much
because
honestly
it never occurred to me that he would
break that trust

I have no doubt about it

and I'm sitting here amazed as
I consider that

How much I love
and trust
the control
of my honorable man.

9 comments:

  1. Yes. It's an amazing feeling, isn't it?

    i don't know if i've ever known a man who had the kind of self-control my Sir has. i imagine you maybe have, but i haven't.

    His ability to control Himself makes me feel submissive somehow all by itself.

    aisha

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  2. A Dom without self control would be a stalking rapist or serial killer wouldn't he?

    Scary thought.

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    Replies
    1. that it would.

      but I wonder - like Sin -- if I would have the same self control he has in not snooping.

      sfp

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  3. Self-control comes along with knowing exactly what will work for you and how to get there. It is a confidence thing. You are very lucky :-)

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  4. If someone asked me NOT to read a blog and I knew it was there and could find it, could I do it? I doubt it.

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    Replies
    1. you and me too Sister Sin -- you and me

      I admire his restraint

      imagine
      not reading something you know if about you.....

      sfp

      Delete
  5. Rarely, my M stops at my blog (which was how the disaster of no pix on HNT Thursday came about...He wanted to see tits on Thursday, dammit!)

    I had no idea. And I don't vent there because...well, it's not really the purpose. If I write about him, i always send it to him first, pre-approval.

    Is it weird that after 2.5 years I really don't have anything bad to say about him?

    *grin*

    sometimes he pisses me off, but i usually go right to him, or get over it...but those are RARE events...

    and usually coz of some vanilla shit overflowing.

    nilla

    ReplyDelete