People love to tell you that -- don't they?
that everything happens for a reason
and
we always want to assume that the REASON is something positive
something good
that it's fated
but
has it not occurred to us that if there is a REASON that it doesn't necessarily follow that the reason is going to be something positive?
just some thoughts
because
fuck me
my belief that FATE IS BULLSHIT is being tested mightily
every time I start to give up on my agency
something pulls me back in
and
now that I've had this experience with KK & FL
I've received a possible offer of a kiddo that could be THE ONE
although
it would mean adding to my family while the girls are still here
big fucking decision here.
so
how do I say "no" to a healthy
1 year old girl?
that is here NOW
the answer is I don't think I can say "no" to that
no matter the cost
it feels like FATE
it feel that everything has happened for a reason
in fact
maybe they're thinking of me because I'm on their mind with the debacle with the girls
maybe that's why I get first dibs
maybe she's fated to be mine
or maybe
FATE's a bitch who just likes fucking with us for her own entertainment.
It's a busy, complicated time in your life isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI don't know if everything (or anything) happens for a reason. But it does happen.
What will you do?
-sin
wow...like...WOW.
ReplyDeleteIt's so strange how the world of adoption and fostering moves. We've experienced our share of wtf's and OMG's...but you'll decide what works and what doesnt because...it's your life, you know your limits, your abilities to deal with bullshit, and your own very expansive skillset regarding children of varying ages.
HUGs as you move into this new chapter...
nilla
O, wow.
ReplyDeletei don't know if everything happens for a reason or not, but i know one thing leads to another and you can never tell what's going to happen next.
i'll be praying for you, for discernment at every next step of this journey.
hugs,
sofia
Maybe it's not fate but surely there's a reason. You've got so much to offer and were chosen for each other. Wishing the very best for you as you muddle through the transition for the girls and for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine being in your shoes at this point! Somehow I feel sure you'll make the right choice for you and your life.. even though it feels pretty daunting from this side.
ReplyDeleteAll the best.. and prayers for you with hugs for good measure!
I have no doubt you'll make the right decision (if you haven't already.) you have so much to offer. You a great person, a fabulous mom and 'they' wants what's best for the toddler. That (and a long list of other reasons) is why they chose you. However, they don't know your mindset. Only you can answer the question of 'is this right?'
ReplyDeleteWishing you the best as you sort this out...
Oh wow....When it rains it pours?
ReplyDeleteJust sending a million hugs your way...And totally wish mouse could help you!
<3 and Hugs,
mouse
Oh the number of times I have desperately desired a Chrystal ball! I wish we had that certainty. I wish you luck with your decision.
ReplyDeleteHugs and Contentment,
Fiona
Thinking of you
ReplyDeleteJust sending my positive thoughts for whatever decisions you make and will be thinking of you !!!
ReplyDelete~faithful