The unfriending

Once upon a time -- if you decided you were done with someone -- you could just wander off
call less

hang out with other friends

social medial is a pain in the ass when it comes to this

because if you really want to be done with someone

it requires an unfriending.

hmm -- blogger seems to think the unfriending isn't a word
you're behind the times, blogger -- catch up!

there's this woman
you've likely heard me bitch about her in the past year

she was one of the exchange student moms
and is fostering to adopt like me

at the same time
through a different agency

and

I've sort of grown to hate her

She took her classes faster
declared her homestudy "easy" -- when mine was soul sucking

got her placement before me

(ok -- I'll admit it -- that's just plain jealousy on my part)

and has made mild little racist remarks about her foster daughter

"She's so brown...is your son brown?  She's really very dark"

fuck you

I'm going through a really rough time right now with my foster care situation
I may lose him to a relative of his

after all these months

and I feel very raw about it
the fact is I've known for about 10 days and have only just started to be able to talk about it outside of a very few close friends

and unfortunately
my own little Gladys Kravitz
happened to ask me (IMed me) how things were going a few days ago

I wrote a brief note that I am waiting to hear about this family member and that I might lose the baby to them.

and she responded

"How do you feel about it?"

How do I feel about it?
HOW DO I FEEL ABOUT IT?

"FUCK YOU -- THAT'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT!"

but instead -- I responded that it was very difficult and that I'm just trying to get through the next few days

in my world

this should trigger "I'm so sorry, you're both in my prayers" and a change of topic

but no

she peppers me with questions.

and

it was sort of the last straw.

She's not a friend
I have no history with her -- no REAL history -- just this fake Facebook relationship

and in spite of that fact that I hate hate hate hurting someone's feelings

this woman makes me feel bad
on a pretty regular basis.

she's sort of bigoted and insensitive and selfish
and I don't like her

so
I just quietly unfriended her.

and why can't we do that?
just unfriend someone
just back away
and go make other little friends

it worked in grade school
I wasn't doomed to be friends with that little girl who wore the pink panties on the first day of kindergarden just because I met her on the first day (Mom says I mentioned this on the way home including every other detail of my first day of school and noticed that her panties were pink because she  decided to play on the monkey bars in a skirt)

so -- I clicked
and it was done

but the formality of unfriending someone
really does make it hurtful -- doesn't it?

it certainly hurt her feelings
as she has sent me several messages through email and Facebook
asking what she's done

I thought technology was supposed to make life easier.