Monday, July 11, 2011

Dear Faithful Reader...

Faithful Reader posted a question on the comments of this morning's blog -- I thought I would answer it here -- and allow anyone else who cares to kibbitz to give you their point(s) of view as well

Faithful writes:

I am new to CM and OMG- just not sure what to post- to put a pic up at all? .... Guys ask me for my pic and I don't even want to send one showing myself with clothes on... So I guess my question is at what point do you take the leap of faith to send someone a pic of yourself? I am also on Vanilla sites and so have a profile pic- which is harmless- but on CM.. it all makes me nervous! Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks
Faithful

Dear Faithful

Your answer is right there -- you don't have to send any photo until you are ready.  You're horrified at the idea -- then don't do it.

Personally?  I use a slightly sexy photo with no face shot in it for my profile pic.  I'll send a vanilla photo -- but do not send identifable naked phtoos until I have met him in person -- like him and have some mutually assured destruction.

If they're pushing that hard for naked photos and it freaks you out? -- well - -then they're not for you.  period. 

That being said -- you have to remember that he's got his worries too -- first and foremost -- are you a real girl or a Nigerian scam artist? -- a photo helps him to see you as a real girl - photos help him connect with you as a person.

So -- it's up to you --

in the meantime -- we'll throw it out to the readers -- what do you guys think?

sfp
at

6 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 12, 2011 at 4:30 AM

    Dear Faithful,

    What Sfp said. Couldn't have said it better myself.

    All of this stuff, it's just really important to pay attention to your gut and what you're feeling. And to honor it

    Sometimes I talk that talk better than I walk it, but that's the goal. I'll e-mail you too - we can trade "Yikes!" stories...

    hugs,

    aisha

    ReplyDelete
  2. sinJuly 12, 2011 at 6:41 AM

    Okay, what's the difference between the different sites? In your view/experienc?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mick CollinsJuly 12, 2011 at 7:07 AM

    Ahhh... an old cold war doctrine converted for the cyber world ... MAD.... Dr. Strngelove would be proud of you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJuly 12, 2011 at 8:24 AM

    Thanks SFP and Aisha :) I think I can handle a slightly sexy in my profile - omitting the face of course...

    sin- I just think that the Vanilla sites- the guys are really Vanilla.. so I feel safer.

    I posted my profile only (no pic) on CM and within 1 hour - I got over 100 messages.. LOL..

    Well - that doesn't happen on the Vanilla sites :)

    Thanks~
    Faithful

    ReplyDelete
  5. nillaJuly 12, 2011 at 1:52 PM

    Dear Faithful...

    i grok the whole overwhelmingness of CM (i had 295 hits in 48 hours...and i did put a very vanilla pic there, but also used my face...sometimes i am so stupid.)

    as all others said..if it trips the "ook-ometer"...then back away from it--it's weirding you out for a reason.

    It took a lot of weeding to find someone i was interested in...

    and then i reconciled with my Master...

    sending "clear=headed" energies...

    best wishes,

    nilla

    ReplyDelete
  6. nbsJuly 12, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    I've never put a picture on CM-- If I've exchanged mail with someone and they seem intelligent and interesting.. then when we move to email, I'll send a picture...clothes on and no face.
    Not till I feel really comfortable do I send a face picture.. cause that means we are going to meet and they have to know what I look like , right?
    Just my choice.. there are so many trolls out there.. why give them anything until I know them a little bit.

    ReplyDelete

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