So I spoke to soon-- over on my mommy blog I mentioned that I wasn't in tears yet
but I am
I had a horrible night
He screamed and screamed -- and during one of the bottle reheatings, I guess I didn't have the bottle sealed properly so it came out all inside the bottle warmer making the house smell like boiled formula
which is just a disgusting smell
and he chucked sour formula all over me at 2am
I spent hours rocking, bouncing, singing, pacing
and finally just holding him on my chest trying to get a tiny bit of peace
this morning
as I wrote to M
telling him that I don't was us to fall apart
tears streaming as I let out my fears
because those of you who have been around awhile know that this is part of why Mr. C and I aren't together
that on some level I don't think I get to have it all
and he's over sleeping peacefully
as I work though my box of kleenex
as I read M's reassuring words
and he reminds me
that I'm exhausted
and that this is a transition and adjustment
and it's supposed to be hard.
so now that the little Don is back to his normal sweet burbling self
I'm going to eat something
blow my nose
and go to sleep
and it'll get better.
- HUGS -
ReplyDeleteWelcome to motherhood
Sleep when he sleeps
It does and will get better
and then he will be 16 and driving.
~faithful
ok it is exhausting, its an emotional rollercoaster and somedays you wander why you bother getting dressed if indeed you get dressed at all lol
ReplyDeleteas faith said sleep when he sleeps, make sure your looking after you as well, he needs a healthy mummy because its so easy to neglect yourself when your consumed by babys needs.
and dont give yourself a hard time....babies are hard work...no scrap that they are exhausting but it does get easier..i promise.
tori x
As other said, it will get better and you will feel better soon too. I am sure youa re doing a great job.
ReplyDeleteAwwwww....it does become easier. Really it does.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs,
mouse
Take care of yourself. On airplanes they make you put the oxygen mask on yourself first before trying to help someone else. So my stupid analogy just means that you need to be selfish sometimes.
ReplyDeleteIt's just hard and it's inexplicable why they cry sometimes. You can do this. You ARE doing this.
It gets easier. I promise.
-sin
Sending hugs... lots of them.
ReplyDeleteWhat everyone else said - yes. It does, it will, you're doing it, all you gotta do is keep doing it.
hugs,
aisha
Nighttime is hard, but it does get better.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest projectile pooped all over me every time I took his diaper off at night for a month straight until I caught onto the fact that he was going to do it every time the air hit his butt.
And there were lots of tears. From both of us.
Catch your sleep when you can, remember to feed yourself, and hang in there.
It really will get easier.
Actually, putting on your own oxygen mask isn't a selfish act at all, and it's a common lesson when dealing with caregivers. The idea is that if you don't get your own mask on first, and then pass out, you CAN'T take care of the other person.
ReplyDeleteIt's good you can let it all out here and on your mommy blog without (I hope) fear of judgment.
Hugs,
o.g.
You've gone from a solo act to sharing....wait...one doesn't SHARE with a babe...they DOMINATE us...they take over EVERYTHING...our sleep time, our wake time...our shower time...our eating time...our time to pee...
ReplyDeleteBabies are little Dominators.
You're in the middle of one fucking big shift. Hang in there. He is Borg...and YOU are being assimilated.
*hug*
nilla
Thank you guys -- I read these comments as they came in yesterday -- and yeah -- it is hard
ReplyDeleteand you're right -- w'll settle in
and
Nilla -- words to live by " You will be assimilated -- resistance is futile"
(giggle)
sfp