Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I've lost that submissive feeling

yeah

lately it's just gone
I don't feel submissive

funny

I don't feel rebellious
or like being a "bad girl"

but I'm not feeling his power right now

and I'm not sure this has a damn thing to do with him
but rather all with me

I'm not sure I have room for much of anything else right now
that I have room in my head for me
and all my thoughts and worries

and for him too

I'm sure it's there
like a bit of sourdough starter
that I'm feeding just a wee bit to keep it from dying

but
not enough to fully become what it can be

and I'm searching around to see if I feel empty about this right now

and nope

I don't

right now I just need him to be my friend
and he's such a wonderful friend to me

and let's be honest
all it would take
would be a little tug on my leash


and I would fall right back into place
because that's our groove
where we fit

even though
we fit over here too

hugs ya'll
the waiting continues

5 comments:

  1. It's nice you have him as a friend. It sounds like that's what you need right now. And as you say all it would take is a little tug on your leash.


    Waiting SUCKS.

    -sin

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  2. sending hugs back and glad you have him on your side.

    waiting does SUCK ,but the reward will be grand.

    ~faithful

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  3. good that you can exist as friends too. That's the best part of it right? that it only takes a little tug...

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  4. Waiting is so hard.

    And it's really, really good to be friends.

    aisha

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  5. He is such a wonderful friend -- I am so very very blessed (almost a year now and I still feel so damned lucky)

    and then -- sigh -- he comes through with the domliness

    yum

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