The Rules

Do you remember The Rules?

they were a list of rules that you were to follow if you wanted to "ketch you a man"

I'll leave that last bit alone -- since it sounds like we're trapping them against their will -- and in my experience - no man has ever been trapped against his will -- they're wiley creature and are only caught when they are not only not running -- but more importantly chasing.

at any rate -- M and I were talking today -- and I was thinking about the rules - in particular the rules about communicating

• Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
• Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls
• Always End Phone Calls and dates First
• Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
• Don’t Open Up Too Fast
• Be Honest but Mysterious

We texted a bit this morning and he suggested that I call if I want to - and I hesitated.

I consulted my rules of vanilla dating which are all about not seeming needy

and said I would love to call -- but I was worried that I was invading his work time

later on in the day he made it clear that those rules? -- those rules don't apply in the D/s world.  That we are essentially attention whores (paraphrasing - he was much more eloquent than I am).

and at one point I changed the subject
and in one of the first really domly moments he said,
"I would love to talk about (insert new topic here) in a moment -- but you're changing the subject and we have more to discuss about this"

(oh)

I apologized and returned to the topic at hand

so his style -- is not to make rules -- but to encourage me to think of what would please him -- and do that.

He said he could make rules about when to contact him -- but he would rather that I contact him as often as I feel the desire to - and leave a message if I can't get him -- not because I have to -- but because I want to hear his voice -- or share something with him because he's the first one I want to share it with.

so the rules - -which tell us that men want us to be aloof?

well

I'm going to toss them out

and just try it his way

not worry about being too needy

just

do what I want to do in the moment.

hmm

the rules haven't helped me so far

so we'll try it his way