A Stern talking to

M sent me a story yesterday

and racy story - it involves the first time a Dom and Sub have their meeting -- and the advernture that follows.

It's a hot story

M and I have not had a lot of conversations about his particular likes/dislikes when it comes to kink.  His philosophy is that he wants me to give him everything that I'm able to give -- and that if he asks for something I cannot give that it's his fault for asking me for more than my ability can deliver.

feels like a load of crap to me in some ways

don't get me wrong -- I have some idea of the parameters

We've talked about limits -- and have an agreement on most of them -- so I'm pretty sure that he's not into -- blood or being vomited on

I was going to type not-that-theres-anything-wrong-with-that  but that would be silly of me.

of course I think there's something wrong with it -- it's ookie.

so -- he sent me this story -- and the girl in it is perfect-in-every-way

and I'm faced with writing back something like, "baby this is an awesome story -- I totally want to be that girl" which to me sounds like I'm saying "yummy -- let's do that next weekend"

or

letting him know that I'm not that -- not now -- maybe not ever

so I type back something like, "Wow - -she's a better sub than I am -- I'm not really good at...." etc etc

and I got back a "I'm not going to send you any more stories if you do that" -

and I said, "I just worry I won't be good enough :( "

and that was follwed by "Ok, let's talk baby, Now if you are not busy"

and yes

I got a stern talking to

about comparisons
about expectations
about worrying

and I agreed saying, "I know it's silly to compare myself to imaginary subs"

and he corrected me

"it's silly to compare yourself to anyone"

so we are back to

If I give him my best he will be happy

obviously he's not a follower of Yoda.