No rehearsals

You know at some point in time

things stop being all talk and get to some action

we've dipped the toe into sex

and I'm starting to get an idea of who and what he is.

He's a cagey one

not wanting to let me have a peek at scenes later in the movie
or
more likely not wanting to have be freak out

so we were talking racy talk  - -well texting racy text and I made some sort of comment about needing to calm things down or I would need to "go rehearse"

He texts back, "are you going to ask permission?"

crapola

me and my big mouth

I was told "no rehearsals unless I'm there -- I won't allow any stand ins"

and at some point

I did rehearse
with him in my ear
talking into the night
like we do

and it was lovely together.

and afterwards -- we realized that we spent the night talking about City politics and my party this week and my friend's new job and food and sex and how much we like to argue -- and this is what we want.

we want someone to give us everything
not just sex
not just submission or control
but everything
talk about everything
laugh about everything

and of course -- we have no idea if that's going to be each other or not
we have not yet met in person

but we at the very least know it's out there - it's possible - we have our hope

someone who wants it all

yes

someone who wants it all

sigh