a miss

I really thought I wanted an O yesterday

I did

and I got permission
which was very nice of him

I am getting a lot of permission lately
then again I am asking for permission a lot lately

and I got out all the old friends
the vibes
and some clamps
and there was even an anal option

and I have to tell you

I just

missed

what was it?

exhaustion?
maybe

was it that I tried too hard for it?

sigh

most likely

but really

I just couldn't get my brain to shut off

sometimes I wonder why I bother with the toys at all

I think I could just listen to his voice
have him tell me to do it

and with the tiniest of nudges
make it all the way there

I gave up
washed up my toys
and went out to my garden

and all was well

but I think I need some man-time
really soon

or my toys may just stay where they're at.