Saturday, February 11, 2012

boys boys boys (vanilla)

So -- they've started to send me profiles

not a lot of them

but every once in awhile

and

so far

it's all been boys

there's a note here about the preference of adopters for girl rather than boys 

and I'll admit -- I have a preference for girls too

but the first two profiles that I've received are for brothers

at the same time I'm reading a book called Why Gender Matters about the differences between girls and boys -- how they learn -- how their brains develop differently -- the best ways to provide correction etc.

which gave me a bit of a horror about boys -- they seem like foreign little savages who grunt and smash things and get in fights -- oh! -- and take too many risks!

and yet

I have this profile -- of these 2 brothers
6 and 9

no photo
just some initial information

and I have a fantasy of being a boy-mommy

I'm trying it on
seeing how it feels






and it feels good.

does that mean that I will be their mommy?

well

maybe
maybe not

it might happen

I've expressed some interest
and requested more information.

they are "legal risk" -- which means that while they believe parent rights will be severed

it might not

and I have much to consider

I believe that I can take that risk
what about my parents?

If they attach and then have that taken away
I think it would devastate them.

so I'm taking this weekend
spending a lot of my time alone

thinking
and dreaming about it

and you know what?

maybe being a mom to boys would be just fine
maybe
maybe it would be just wonderful.
at

13 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2012 at 9:37 PM

    Hi, i am a lurker and have been lurking for quite a while and never felt the need to comment until now.

    Boys are fantastic creatures, I have raised two and I am in the process of raising my girl. There is a definate difference but both are just as rewarding and both have different challenges. Being a Mum is great no matter what sex the child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. strivingforpeaceFebruary 12, 2012 at 4:23 PM

      Hello Anonymous! Always happy to hear from a lurker

      I'm excited that I'm becoming open to all the possibilities -- and I'm pretty excited about becoming a Mum -- of whatever flavor.

      sfp

      Delete
  2. nillaFebruary 11, 2012 at 10:53 PM

    boys are awesome... truly they ARE fearless, they are rough n tumble, and they are quick to offer hugs and love... i LOVE my sons. (My daughter, all by her little 5 year old self? has been WAY more of a handful than them, combined. Okay maybe not totally...but not far from it at times!!!)

    sending you blue light to see clearly by, lots of love as you open yourself to possibility...and the kiss of a sister who understands.

    nilla

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    Replies
    1. strivingforpeaceFebruary 12, 2012 at 4:24 PM

      Thank you Sis -- I'm touched by all the support -- and am enjoying my transformation

      sfp

      Delete
  3. mouseFebruary 11, 2012 at 11:45 PM

    Absolutely nothing wrong with boys!!!

    We wish you the best of luck!!

    Hugs,
    mouse

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. strivingforpeaceFebruary 12, 2012 at 4:25 PM

      lol

      no -- nothing wrong with boys

      just

      hadn't really every imagined them

      and I'm glad I'm starting to

      sfp

      Delete
  4. little monkeyFebruary 12, 2012 at 1:50 AM

    I have three boys. I desperately wanted a girl this last, late, unexpected pregnancy. So much so that I cried when the amnio came back "male". In hind sight I wouldn't change a thing.
    Yes, they can be loud and reckless, boisterous daredevils, monsters, and kings. Conversely they are unreservedly loving,straightforward, and so much fun! There are trade offs, no cute frilly clothes, and you are more likely to get glitter pictures of tanks, and dinosaurs.

    Girls are too, boys are wonderful creatures. Don't be afraid you won't know how to raise one. You would do fine. No matter which gender your child is, you will do fine, sfp.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. strivingforpeaceFebruary 12, 2012 at 4:26 PM

      Thank you LM -- I'm sure I will make lots of mistakes

      no matter what I get

      it feels like the weeks leading up to Christmas -- you think you know what you want -- but you love what you get anyway!

      sfp

      Delete
  5. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2012 at 7:49 AM

    I have not raised boys but I am sire mo matter the sex of the blessed child you adopt, you will be a wonderful loving Mother.

    Thinking of you and sending you a hug.

    Fondly. Sky

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    Replies
    1. strivingforpeaceFebruary 12, 2012 at 4:27 PM

      Thank you Sky -- hugs are always wanted and needed!

      sfp

      Delete
  6. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2012 at 9:54 AM

    All that matters is that you will be the mother!

    I wouldn't trade my son for anything in the world..... but I am sure I would say the same thing if I had a daughter.

    ~faithful

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    Replies
    1. strivingforpeaceFebruary 12, 2012 at 4:28 PM

      lol -- yes -- whatever I have will be just the perfect thing for me

      sfp

      Delete
  7. aishaFebruary 12, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    Dearest Sfp,

    Whatever you get, you will be a wonderful mother. No doubt.

    many hugs,

    aisha

    ReplyDelete

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