I love that song
it's come to mind because I've been thinking about my first post here - where I said I was committed to no longer be a sliver of myself - -but express things from all aspects of my life.
But I'm not sure that it's possible.
The nature of blogging is to express those inner-most thoughts....but you can't help but censor yourself
....I find myself censoring things that have happened that occurred with blog-readers -- for not wanting to stir things up. This is frustrating -- because there is no one in the vanilla world I can discuss it with. Can we not help as well to censor the things that show us in an unfavorable light?
...I find myself appearing to be much softer, gentler, kinder -- and weaker than I am in real life. And it's not possible to prevent that. As the nature of blogging is to expose our soft underbellies (anonymously) to the world....which has the effect of making us seem softer, gentler and weaker than we are in reality.
...I find myself processing thoughts online -- it's become part of it -- thinking in the lines here. Trying things on for size....fleshing them out. Which makes it seem that I am committed or interested in things that I'm just feeling out.
I wonder if any of you met me in person if you would recognize me?
My soft melty insides are protected by a hard candy shell
Do you really think you come across as weak? Have I given you that impression? Because I don't see you that way at all. You're right, we're doing this to express the part of ourselves that we don't usually show.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not sure what you consider weak. Some people think crying is weak. I'd disagree. So maybe your definition of weak is "off." But I don't see you as weak in any way. Not any more than I am - and I guarantee you, I'm not weak.
I'm sorry you're not feeling like you can be fully honest on here either. If you want someone non-vanilla to talk to, feel free to e-mail me.
hugs,
aisha
I think that being submissive, being explicitly submissive, makes us seem weaker. Because that's not a side we show the world, so it's new to us.
ReplyDeleteAnd there are tons of things I don't post about on my blog, partly because I have made the decision not to focus on certain aspects of my life that would help to identify me or would really embarass the people around me (read teenagers) who I hope never find my blog.
But there are also things I don't post because they would be inappropriate or hurtful to people who read there. And I have made the decision to censor myself a bit there. And during some periods of time it's more than a bit of censoring. It sucks but it's what I have chosen.
Post something really mean if you like. It's your blog. Show the dark parts.
And I would recognize you.
This would appear to be my fault. i was given a rare opportunity and i abused it. In a frustrated idiotic state of mind, i vc made some very poor choices. There is no valid excuse for my actions. i wish to retract the comments that i made. Please post freely and uninhibited. Here goes…damn i hate this…i submit...i deserve to be verbally thrashed...please...i beg you...please post freely...for i am both deserving and truly sorry!
ReplyDeleteThis made me want to go out and get a bag of M & M's.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, wouldn't it be almost impossible for us to share, even in an semi-anonymous blog, all that we really are thinking and feeling.
It's natural to hold back something, quite a lot actually, isn't it?
@Alisha -- sometimes -- yeah -- I think I come off as weak. I appreciate the offer -- and may take you up on it. Thanks for the kind words on my post on that other blog.
ReplyDelete@Sin -- Yeah-- I think you and I would recognize each other.
@VC -- Thanks
@Mick -- I think it IS natural -- but it's frustrating too
thanks to you all
sfp
SFP, i took your advice and i am officially a blogger now. Now i will crawl in my own blog cave and leave you to find your peace.
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much,
i get it now,
Goodbye,
vc
I know you're a control freak so you can't be all that soft and cuddly. LOL
ReplyDeleteI am a recovered type A control freak perfectionist. I know how you are ;-)
-H