SFP vs FoxyLoxy - deathmatch

So FL and I went 10 rounds today

first she went to yellow

then red for refusing to wash her hair
after being told 5 times that she needed to do it
and being warned

then when she wouldn't stop pestering her sister

it was the internet

first 1 day

then 2

then 3

she relented at 10 days without the internet

and a meltdown

she's sulking

um

until about the 20th

and

I'm going to stick to it

no matter what

sigh

it's going to be a long 7 years.

Green Yellow Red

(commence eye rolling now)

so

the girls are sort of out of control

they've never really had any consequences at all

so I've been thinking about what motivates them

and allowance is on top of the list.
that and trips to Braums

So -- here's what I'm trying

Every day - the girls start in the Green

small offenses get you into the yellow zone:  having to be asked to do things over and over (for example) -- being wild - bad manners.

and big offenses get you into the red (cheating, lying, fighting)

and they can earn their way out of red and yellow with extra credit cards -- which involve an apology and a household chore

( I loved when FoxyLoxy said, "what if my room's already clean?" - I didn't say, "I'll die of shock" - -I said, "you'll have to pull another card")

Now - I know you're thinking:

Are you flipping kidding me?
Ground them
Take away privileges
spank them
make them do it

etc etc etc

Groudning and taking away privileges? - involves paperwork
spankings are forbidden

and these kids?

they mostly care about ice cream -- treats -- and allowance.

So -- each green day = $1.00
Each yellow day = $0.50
Each Red day = $0.00

and a trip to Braums requires that BOTH girls have at least 4 green days per week (one of the doesn't?  - no trip)

considering we pretty much LIVE in "yellow" -- this will be challenging for them.

So we know have a calendar - and a bunch of green, yellow and red stars
and the girls are committed -- because - they love the idea of being able to earn MORE allowance than they have

and -- it hasn't really occurred to them that if they're bad at the end of the day - -there's no chance to get out of yellow before bedtime.

wahahahahahaha!

Assignment

On Thursday
Sir P gave me an assignment

to excuse myself
and masturbate without cumming

at some assigned times

he gave me some leeway

because I cannot just excuse myself at any old time -- it doesn't work that way

in fact

on the hour?

would be the most difficult
because I'm almost always just leaving or just going into a meeting ON the hour

So - the 10am was done at 11ish
and the 12 - was done a bit late
and the 2  -- wasn't done at all

At 4 I was rushing to pick up the girls

and I called him and told him about my day
I told him that I missed the 2pm
and didn't know how I could get the pm one done

and I asked for a Friday do-over

and

he told me to figure it out.

I was frustrated by this

and yet

got it done
in the car
driving through traffic
with a sweater in my lap

the experience was positive in that I obeyed
when I didn't want to
and that helped a bit

but

I had started to shut down
and that wasn't good

yesterday morning
I asked for another assignment

not a do over
but

I needed more

because my everyothernightmasturbation assignment
was getting difficult
not to do it

I can do the act
but

I was having to force them out of me
vibe on high
teeth gritted

I described it as trudging up a mountain hauling my whole day up behind me.

not good
not positive
not a release

and while submissive in that I was doing something I would choose not to just because he wants me to
it was not sex-positive

so yesterday

at 11 - in the shower
at 2 - in my room
at 5 - hurriedly while listening to the girls in the next room mommommommom
and at 8

I touched
and came
ohsodeliciouslyclose

until at bedtime

when I got on my knees
he was easy for me to find
and when it came time to cum
I did
easily
and happily
and received my release.

March is (bleeping) question month

In the past few Marches -- I've avoided the whole "question month" thing

mostly because -- if I wanted to tell you something - I would.

but

in the spirit of renewed openness -- I'm going to throw it out there

partly because

I'm not so much stuck on my story - -as

hmmm

thinking it's bigger than the game -- I have some fun ideas of what to do with my character - -and little time to do it.

and

because I feel like I don't have much new to say

so while I wait for inspiration - please feel free to post a question in the comments -- or email me at yourpeacefulone@gmail.com

although I can't think of what you might ask that I haven't answered already

sfp

Bad things

Things have been sort of rotten around here.

the girls and I sniping at each other
the honeymoon

clearly

over

it's been tense

and hard for us

I have not enjoyed them very much this week
and they

have not enjoyed me

the week at work was insane

I could never explain how insane it was

and I've had very little time
but a massive need

for Sir P

we are tired
and
we are either not ourselves
or worse

perhaps TOO MUCH ourselves around here

and things will get better

I know they will

but
it can be easy to loose sight of that

and

I really

really

just need a spanking right now


perhaps I'm instilling a bit of a magical property to the spanking

perhaps because I cannot have one right now
I've elevated it

it's my Deus Ex Machina

but right now I want one.

I feel a bit bad writing it
because Sir P will read it
and feel a bit bad he can't give it to me

but that's not why I'm writing it

I guess - -I'm writing it
because it's true

and the fact that I need one?

well

No one knows better than Sir P that I need one of those

it's not news to him either.

What do you have to do to make someone love you

We were in therapy today

and we played a game as a family -- it's a therapy game

and there are cards that the kids and the family answer -- as we go around the board

one of the ones I got was

"what do you have to do to make someone love you" -- or something like that

and I gave the PC answer

"I think that's a trick question - you don't have to DO things to make people love you"

and the girls helped me out and said that you have to have an open heart

but when I think about this question deeply

and consider all my past relationships

I think that I think that I have to be capable, helpful, put together, strong to be loved

I have to be good at things

I have to be the one who wants to be with you - but who doesn't NEED to be with you

which does sound nice right?

except that

the opposite side of that is

that it makes you ashamed of needing someone

of being weak

of being less that perfect

of

not meeting him 1/2 way on things

Jesus

I'm the worst fucking sub ever.

why don't I think it's ok to be a little weak?

why do I continually apologize to Sir P for being whiney
for being needy

because
really?

is it so bad to need someone?
really?

is it so bad to lean on someone?

so

this is what I'm learning now
how to lean
how to be ok with leaning
how to not feel guilty for leaning

how to count on someone
and

having someone that can handle that
was the first step.

Once Upon a Time (2)

When she opened the book -- MAGIC...

She looked around her in confusion

her room gone
the book

GONE

it has intensely hot
and horrible

the wind whipped through the buildings
in this place that felt that an ancient ruin

no

that WAS an ancient ruin
she saw a SCARAB battle crawl up the wall
the wind was cruel
and stung her eyes with sand
as her long red hair billowed around her

....wait...

LONG....RED....HAIR?

wtf?

startled - she grabbed a hunk of it and gave it a tug

shit!

she had LONG RED HAIR!

how the fuck did that happen?

her hair was short and BROWN!

she looked down to discover that she was in some sort of costume
a long tan skirt
with a long jacket
no wonder she was fucking boiling

what a wild hallucination she was having
or a dream
perhaps she was NAPPING

she started to wander and she heard a man call out

"Miss Reeves?"

her head whipped around
Reeves was her mother's maiden name.

A pudgy old man in old fashioned dessert gear rushed up to her
and grabbed her wrist pulling her along

"hurry up girl! -- the caravan is leaving"

Sarah allowed herself to be dragged along
and bustled into an old car

"hurry up Jacqeline - you were almost left here alone -- we must get back to Cairo by nightfall"....