Dating Doms

I have a few dates

Neither of which do I think hold much promise.

FashionMan -- who I should never have made fun of -- asked me out for tonight

and I'm going

even though I had written him off.
We started to talk and discovered that I could literally walk to his house

and that opened us up to have a much more relaxed conversation -- about life, work, family -- and yes -- domination/submission.

so we're having dinner tonight at a local place (that I picked - I've lived her longer) --- and we'll see where it goes

I don't think I'm his kind of girl
I think I'm too earthy for him

no painted nails
unless you count the paint that gets splattered on them

and I only wear makeup for dates.

but we'll see.

maybe he'll surprise me.

and

I have a date with BB tomorrow night

and

yes -- the strong athletic guy sounds dreamy

but I predict that we won't have much in common
or not enough to sustain us

and

seriously

I only go into the gym to use the bathroom

who am I kidding?

do I want to be in a relationship where I can get in trouble for snacking?
because I might be willing to do some serious corner time for some chocolate cake

days even

so - I'll blog on FashionMan tonight -- who will either get a new nickname or the SFP Post-date run down

and on BB tomorrow night

and then we'll decide if I change the blog to a CatFancy blog

or a sex blog

I give it a 50/50

Casual sex

I have never actually had casual sex

never had a FWB

nope

not ever

which is not to say that I've never had a one night stand
or slept with someone I didn't love

but not on purpose

not when I knew it would go nowhere

I have never had sex for the sake of just having sex.

even when I messed around with Sandy

(yes - I know - he's been erased from the blog too)

I had a strong connection with Sandy

but B?

B is just a FWB

all he would ever be

and he's sweet
and funny
and kind

but just a friend
if that

so he came over
and yes
we had sex

and

well - it was fine
it was sex

plain
ordinary sex
with a bit of kink
but not much

the actions of kink
without the intent

and I kept thinking

I'm done now
I wonder how long this will take
and

I wish he would stop doing that

and he was giving me his A game
and there was nothing wrong with it

other than the fact that it was empty

all that being said,

I don't regret it - not one bit

it's ok to learn about yourself
and what works
and what doesn't work

for me?

this doesn't work

live and learn.

Dear SFP

Dear SFP,

I've been trying to meet a nice sub on collar me -- but those bitches just delete my messages and never respond - don't they know that I'm their Master and they should get on their knees and feel blessed that I found them?

 -- Dateless Dom in Dallas


Dear Dateless,

Perhaps it's your approach.  Here are some tips for getting the bitches to read your message and start to see you for the fine Master we're all sure you are:

1.  Write an opening message that lets her know that you're interested in who she is.  Ineffective messages include:  "Hey", "Good Morning", "Watchadoin'"; and "I'll pay you to pee on my face".

2.  In your message, tell her something about yourself, and indicate that you've read her profile -- mention something, anything about her profile that you like.  If you can't think of anything, perhaps your standards are too low.

3.  Have an idea of what you want.  Do not wait for her to tell you what she is so you can tell her that you're her exact match - you're a Dom for God's sake - act like one.

4.  Don't send her a photo of your penis.  Unless you plan to have your penis hanging out in Starbucks for her to recognize you -- she doesn't want to see your penis at this stage - and certainly not before she hears "hello".  This is especially true if your penis looks  like an elephant's trunk.

5.  Update your profile with some details of who you are -- and what you're looking for.  Commit.  Don't worry that you'll scare her away - she's either up for who you are - -or she's not.

6.  Maybe rethink your name -- Cuntstretcher; Pigslutmaster, GodofPiss are not the names that are going to attract many a sub -- just a thought.

and last but not least

remember - that your nightmare of an online date is that she might be fatter or older than her photos.

her nightmare of an online date involves being skinned and shoved into your trunk.

Give a girl a break.

 -- Happy Hunting

Striving for Peace

Be Vewy Qwiet

...I'm hunting Wabbits

well

not quite

but I am quiet lately.

It was a shitty week.

M and I had to rehash some thing - -it was emotional and we're better now

but it left me raw.

I had to ask S to leave me alone

very forcefully
and multiple times

I am sorry that I had to hurt him
but I was starting to think that I was going to end up as a skin hat at the end of the movie.

Rule # 1 - don't become a cautionary tale.

and

things have quieted down on CM
whew

which is nice

there's a few that I've asked to step back while I work things out
and mostly

I've said "no" a lot.

and there's nothing wrong with that.

so - what's Rule #2?

aha

well - for me?

it's "don't chase men"

because I am a man chaser.

yes

I am

and I'm done with it.

which is not to say that I'm going to sit at home and hope the Dom of my dreams rings my bell.

but rather

I'm not going to call, text, follow up -- with someone who may or may not be interested.

because I've come to the conclusion (rather late in life I know)

that a man is more than happy to have you -- until the right thing comes along.

wow -- that sounds really callous
an maybe it is

but I think it's a bit like eating a zinger

you don't go shopping for zingers
but they're there at the convenience store
and you pick one up
and take it to the car
you remember opening it
and you ate them
you must have eaten then
because they are gone
but you didn't really enjoy them
and
there's only a vague memory of eating them
(were there really 3?  I ate 3?)

it's convenient.

I chased M
and I made things easy for M

but when it came down to it
he wasn't willing to drive to the store to get more

because he didn't want zingers after all.

so

no more chasing men

so
who's chasing me?

oh- there'll be more about that soon --

I assure you.

FINALLY -- 100!

So I've had my tiny little blog for all this time

I've been here for gosh - what - 2 years?
and over at Peacefully Submissive for a year and 1/2

and I never could reach 100 followers

I stopped at 96 at PS

and

I've been at 98 forever here

so

I have to post right this second

before someone removes me from their list and I go back down to 99

to say "hello!"

and thank you for following my tiny little blog

and I promise to have more things to say in the future.

**********************

In other news

B -- the married FWB almost but not quite Dom guy that gave me the only spanking I've had i ages

well - he's trying to make the next date

because I've made clear that once I meet someone - I'm out.

he's asked me what my favorite perfume is

and

I told him "no" -- because it's too expensive at $100 a bottle
oh
and no one in the city has it
everyone is out post-christmas

and he's insisting on buying me a present
and wants a fucking list

eyeroll

ok

am I the only one who doesn't like that?

I'm not your wife - -I'm not going to give you a list
if you want to buy me a present - buy one

or better yet

don't buy one

I don't want your things
I want your time

which could be why I don't think I've received a present from a man in many
many
many years

maybe I should rethink this -- "oh B!-- about that very expensive perfume...."

Who sfp is excited about...

It's the first day of the year -- and I should be talking about my resolutions or some such crap

but instead

I'll catch you up on the search.

The Captain is still out there -- quietly -- he's out of town with friends right now -- spending a country new years -- and I hope he's having a great time of it.  I'm hesitant to write about him - -because as the only one of them who might be reading - -it would be wrong to communicate here -- before I do in person

but I will say this much -- the deal with the Captain - outside of do we want to - -or not want to be an intimate part of each other's lives - is - do I have the time to dedicate to being the kind of sub he used to want (and most likely still does)

probably not.

It would require compromise -- and I'm not sure that's his cup of tea.

There's FashionMan -- and yes -- if I'm making fun of him already - he's not a contender.  He's a good looking man  and he wants to make sure you know it.

This is NOT the kind of man who's going to like me -- or who I'm going to want to spend much time with.  He thinks I should buy $300 shoes (or let him buy them) -- and all I can think is -- "really?  I could have 7 pairs of shoes (easy) for that price!"  He's a nice guy -- but it's never going to go anywhere -- the first time he notices that I have paint from head to toe - he would run.

There's TK -- who is just a friend - he would like to be more -- but I've put him firmly in the friend zone.  We had coffee (well tea for me) yesterday and great conversation.  He's into tickling women

a lot

very into it
and if I were looking to just experience new things and have fun -- he would be a fun playmate.  He's a good person -- safe -- friendly -- not a psycho.

just not what I want right now.

There's still B

he's still essentially a yummy (married) kinky guy -- who wants to be my FWB -- and who I will most likely let be that until I find someone.

We had a bit of a tiff last night
well - a misunderstanding.

I mentioned that I was having a bad night (see previous post with S) and he missed the cue (is it cue?  or queue?).  He offered to come by after midnight to see me - he was playing designated driver for his college aged kids so no one would have to drive drunk - and would stop by for a spank.

I texted back, "I don't might being your FWB, but I'll pass on the booty call"

apparently once you get the hang of being a bit mean - it comes easily.  We chatted a bit and he soothed my sore feelings.  It was good to set the boundaries with him - to make it clear - that the important part of being FWB is the F (friends)

and then

there's

a new player

and boy howdy
is he delicious

I'm going to call him BB - but eventually he'll get a real name (or not -- we'll see)

He's -- well girls -- he's really out of my league.  In vanilla world?  I wouldn't have a shot at this guy - he wouldn't notice - he's the type that you expect to see a bevy of blonde coeds hanging off of him

or at the very least - -at our age -- a former Miss Baton Rouge

but - he likes me -- and I like him - and we're talking at length about meeting in person and seeing what's real.

He's smart, athletic, successful, involved in charity work, kind - a family man - and very very Domly.

He's the one I was on the phone with at midnight - listening to his kids and nieces and nephews set off fireworks and call for him to WATCH!

and he's decided that since I was unable to get my NY spanks - that I will get them when we get there - in time

but that additional penalties will need to be added for each day's delay

to avoid a spank-deficit

or interest perhaps

2 additional licks per day

(apparently the starting number is my age)

so I'm starting today with 47 licks owed

which is some powerful motivation to hurry up - meet -- and get my spank on

while I can still withstand the quantity

(or hope he stops going to the gym)

So - put your money down readers

BB?
the Captain?
a dark horse candidate to be named at a later date?

or will sfp just get a cat?

Forced to be mean

So -- those of you with player cards

or who are making bets

can scratch S off the list.

He went from making me mildly concerned about his degree of affection for me
to completely freaked out

in a flash

Although the idea of love at first sight is romantic
the reality of it

is quite creepy

because it has nothing to do with you

and everything to do with him.

and  that's often the case in the early stages of love, no?

that

we don't love that person

we love how we feel when we're with that person.
we love that it makes us feel desirable
and warm

and safe
or

whatever

but do we love that person?

not yet

to love someone is to know them

and when we're listening to ourselves
to the voice that says
"oh - I'm happy -- I have someone -- I finally have someone -- hooray!"

we can't listen to someone else to figure out if we really love her or not.

So during this week
I went from saying, "it's too soon to say, such things"
and
"please, just give me some space to catch up with you"

to having to say

"I don't want to do this anymore - -any of it"
"Please don't call me"

last night he kept texting me
over and over
and asked to call
he sent me Instant Messages

until I spent the last hour or two of 2012
getting my phone company to block his calls and texts

and

removing him from my IM list

and yes
I cried over this

because I know that he's broken hearted
because he's broken

He has lost his way
and doesn't know how to love
and be loved
any more

I cried because I was forced to be cruel
or face hours of conversations that were pointless
because I can't explain to him

that he doesn't need to learn how to not TELL a girl that he loves her too soon
and that he's happy that she wants him- because no one else does

he needs to learn not to feel that way so soon

There is more to tell of my journey
but
this is enough for one post

today is a new day
and I hope that S picks up -- and starts again.

sfp