A visit

I'm visiting blogland -- because I'm visiting M -- the hotel has internet -- mine doesn't arrive for a few more days.

I'm in the process of moving

responsible people would not have tried to have a visit

we are not always responsible.

I made a commitment to not unpack one single box on Friday night after work so I could come on Saturday

I limited myself to changing the electrical plug on my dryer instead

and came to see my man

sigh

I told you guys that he dropped the L bomb earlier in the week -- but I didn't say it was in text
I opted not to say it or hear it on the phone

until he was ready to say it to me in person

M had an affair when he was married -- it was the catalyst for the divorce. He broke up with the woman -- and tried to make it work the wife.

His heart is still healing

and I can be an "I love you slut" -- saying it ad nauseum
I was being in control

My instructions up on his arrival was to be naked
standing my "my place"
toy bag on the table
blindfold on the bed

I opened the door and moved to my spot
and he came in and kissed me

and got very close
whispering in my ear
you will not speak unless asked a question
do you understand
yes Sir
I love you little girl

and I was left -- overcome with emotion
not allowed to say it back

get your head together sfp
it's game on

the blindfold goes on
and
we go on our journey together

Poof!

I am doing a dissappearing act for the next --hmmm at least a week.

I'm in the process of a move
and the internet folks have promised to be here
no sooner than the 24th
or the 28th
whatever

so  -- radio silence from where-I-live

but let's assume that I'm in a happy moving frenzy
to 9 miles south of where-I-live.

Kisses and hugs all around

sfp

The Glue

Aisha had a lovely post today about friendship.

I also am mostly struck by the peaceful picnic -- it was a lovely day -- surrounded by lovely people.  And I know I'll be back someday again -- both to the lovely city where-she-lives and to my lovely friend.

In every family -- there's someone who connects them all -- who holds them together.

In my ex husband's family it was his brother -- he connected us all
there was a part of the family who was estranged
a long ago slight that grew and grew into a full-on-feud.

but this brother
reached out
and built a bridge to the other side of the family
and was in the process of reconnecting them

He was the one with family parties
that brought us all together

the planner

the peacemaker

the glue

he stuck us together

and when he passed
ironically because he had no peace himself

the glue dissolved
and those connections faded

I wonder if he were still alive if I would still have a connection
with the family

I think he would have built a bridge to me
as well

When I read Aisha's post today
I thought

oh -- it's because

she's the glue

she's the thing that connects so many of us together

the bridge from our virtual lives
into our real lives

thanks for being the glue.

oh.

He does love me.

he does.

I guess it was finally the right time to tell me

golly

he loves me.

sniff

He has not told me that he loves me
and I don't know if he does or not
or if he's ready to love someone again
or if he is -- if I'll be that person


I do love him
and people aren't always in the same place at the same time with each other.


When I tell him I'm crazy about him 
(I will not drop the "L" bomb when he's not ready)
he usually will send a "kisses" message
or if we're together will kiss me in response


a clear sign that he's not ready
or doesn't feel the same


but today -- I got this message.  
Out of the blue


you are my comfort and my refuge. I want you to know how much it means to me to have you in my life, offering me so much. thank you baby, I am so very grateful for you in my life.


and you know what?
this works for me
it's what I want
and makes me happy.

Observed

After the spanking

and before the massage

I was curled next to him -- and debating in my head

to ask
or not to ask

I really needed to cum

but hated to ask
because

well - he hasn't figured out all my triggers yet
one of which is

it's nearly impossible for me to cum while on my tummy

sorry

not happening

side or back
standing
or even on my knees

but flat on my tummy
rare
or tiny

and he likes that position --
and I can almost get there
but it's a bit frustrating

so I asked if he minded --
he said go ahead

so I put my fingers to work
finding myself sopping wet

and before long -- he moved from my side
and positioned himself
between my spread legs

I couldn't see him
I was a bit lost in the moment
I could

sense him

his face -- right up next to me
feeling my heat on his face

as I had one hand on my clit
and fingers buried inside

he watched
as I came closer and closer to the edge of orgasm
and then crashed over

all the while silent
the occasional touch
or lick

but mostly
watching very very closely

and eventually
taking the place of my fingers

and

like he does

taking me completely over.

Girl Interrupted

We were having a lovely time

Other than the fact that I can never seem to shave without abrading myself a bit down south -- causing some irritation

we were having a lovely time

When he walked in - he noted that I was mostly dressed as requested -- the garters were a fail -- but the rest worked well.

he kissed me deeply -- hands on either side of my face

I moved a hand up to caress him back
and his hand quickly moved my hands back to my side

in control

he soon had me on my knees on the bed

crop going to work on my wet pussy

and soon -- fucked until I saw spots.

and then

reality returned

he checked his messages

one from the ex

car trouble

at a level that a normal person would just have dealt with -- but she could not

so he had to leave.

and I am sweet about it

on the outside.

I took a nap -- and two hours later he called to say he was on his way back

sigh

I wonder if I'm too affable

too accommodating

but what was I to say?  Leave the ex and child stranded on the road?

of course not

even if they were only 6 blocks from home

seriously

when he returned I was NOT feeling submissive

I served dinner

mussels in wine sauce.
fresh green salad
crusty bread and Irish butter

feeling a bit more submissive

later -- we curled up together -- he asked me if I would like my spanking before or after his massage

before

definitely before

and by the end of the spanking
I was back

back feeling like I belonged again