I want more

I do
I want more than I can most likely deal with right now

I want more control from him
I want more sex
more submission
I want him to want to Dom the crap out of me

and of course
I don't know what he wants to do
do I

one cannot know

I feel like the overly tired toddler
stomping her feet
insisting that she be allowed to stay up longer
when really she's about to collapse

crying in protest as I'm hauled off to bed
and feeling abused by the injustice
even as I drop off

yeah

that's me
I know it is
I know that he's doing what's best for me
right now
that
this is how I'm wired
that I need a bit
but what I think I need
would overwhelm me

when he's too far away to put it all right

I KNOW that

but I still wanna.