Thursday, August 2, 2012

Groundhog Day

today is like yesterday
tomorrow will be like today

and that's not bad

it just is

things here move ahead
almost 2 months now

and the little one is holding his head up well
which makes me think he will be a genius

and he cries
sometimes
for no fucking reason

I find something that works
so it becomes my religion
or
my superstition

like never washing your socks because you wore them when we won the playoffs.

so I sing "someone to watch over me" -- but never anything else -- because this week it's calmed him but the third time around

and today sitting up as straight as possible
leaned on my knees to sleep
has me creating a little tower of pillows to boost up my legs

it makes me smile
because I know that it's silly

that he wants to sit up today
because there's a gas bubble or whatever
and it just feels good for that 12 minutes

and that I can sing anything
it's really just the sound of my voice
and the soothing vibration as he has his head on my chest

but I need there to be something that works
anything
a incantation to soothe him

life has changed so profoundly
and I could not be happier

and tomorrow
I get to do it again.
at

6 comments:

  1. mouseAugust 3, 2012 at 10:30 AM

    That's just lovely!!! It's really great isn't it...

    And ya mouse is super superstitious too....and ya it's mostly silly.

    Hugs,
    mouse

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 3, 2012 at 10:38 AM

    I love watching you fall in love. It's a beautiful thing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. strivingforpeaceAugust 3, 2012 at 8:09 PM

    thank you guys -- I love this too

    ReplyDelete
  4. sinAugust 3, 2012 at 8:31 PM

    I think repeating that thing that works is called superstitious conditioning.

    You know, it's really interesting how many of us really had trouble becoming moms. And oh, we appreciate our babies so much when they finally arrive.

    -sin

    ReplyDelete
  5. aishaAugust 3, 2012 at 9:09 PM

    Dear Sfp,

    i'm so very, very happy for you! i love to hear you talk about your baby. And ya know, whatever works for a minute is magic, superstition or not.

    hugs,

    aisha

    ReplyDelete
  6. nillaAugust 6, 2012 at 11:18 AM

    :)

    just sitting here, smiling. Remembering. Funny, when my youngest son came home they were doing MAJOR construction at the house next door. Their driveway is about 9 feet from the window of the room where we slept at that time...and he slept so well to the rumble of heavy equipment! No tiptoeing around that baby. My daughter OTOH? a flea jumping will wake her to this day!

    You're happiness is just shining through! HUGS,

    nilla

    ReplyDelete

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