Symbols

Symbols are important --

they often small things
but they carry profound meaning

In this case

a wedding ring

M's ring was stolen from his car

and

this little symbol stirred up a pile of trouble.

He filed a report and then called the Ex -- soon to be ex -- whatever she is

this meant to her
that
he's careless with the eternal symbol of their love
it emphasized that he's not wearing it
it hurt her

and then he told me about the fight they had

and this symbol to me meant
that
he's still carrying it around with him

and I had to ask

are you still wearing your ring?
and he said  -- "no -- it's been in my car for ages"

and the fact that he felt he still needed
to call her right away
told me that the symbol
still has it's power

so

in an hour
he managed to upset both his women

and I told him I wasn't upset
and he said, "yes you are"

and I was

Painted Over

Painting over

I have a few pieces that I started years ago -- and never finished

an abstract that I started around the time Hurricane Charlie hit Florida

a portrait I started when I discovered the ex was shtupping his work-wife -- a friend of mine.

they were started and abandoned.

and

when I look at them -- I can feel the pain drip off of them

they represent rotten times in my life

and

for a long time I felt I should keep them -- although they were sent to the Land of Misfit Paintings (adjacent to it's more famous Land of Misfit Toys sister) to be ignored -- because I felt that they represented  -- hmmm -- a period in my life I guess? -- part of my journey?

and I've made a decision about them

they've had their time

they've served their purpose

they'll never be finished

and

they're not good

not good at all

I might be able to write poems in pain - but I only paint well through joy

and it's time to reclaim them

release them from their prison

and let them become what they should be

just as I'm redesigning my life

I can redesign these canvases

besides -- those buggers are pricey!

I'm very happy with this decision -- and as soon as the temperature drops below 100 today -- I'm off to get started

sfp

deflated

Yesterday I read an old slate article about anal sex.

and it irrirtated me

I woke up this morning thinking I would write about it

specifically about how it implies that the only reason anyone would enjoy anal sex is because she had ...wait -- I'll quote it -- here it is...

Here's my guess......Only 6 percent of women who had anal sex in their last encounter did so in isolation. Eighty-six percent also had vaginal sex. Seventy-two percent also received oral sex. Thirty-one percent also had partnered masturbation. And the more sex acts a woman engaged in during the encounter, the more likely she was to report orgasm. These other activities are what gave the women their orgasms. The anal sex just came along for the ride

So why did the inclusion of anal sex bump the orgasm figure up to 94 percent? It didn't. The causality runs the other way. Women who were getting what they wanted were more likely to indulge their partners' wishes. It wasn't the anal sex that caused the orgasms. It was the orgasms that caused the anal sex

This morning I decided to look it back up and write about it -- about how women's sexuality isn't just about pleasing her partner -- that there are a wide variety of things at play -- even that the reason women who had anal sex had more orgasms was that they were simply more open to having them -- since they were more open to having any kind of sex.

and I found this instead -- apparently so many people wrote in with the same issues

he wrote a rebuttal -- lol

so -- happy reading -- it's interesting -- even though it's old.

I'll go find something else to get my dander up.

fine and dandy

So my last post may have led you all to believe that I was cracking up
sitting in a corner

rocking back and forth

perhaps cuddling my woobie

uh

no

not so much

I am woobie free

I'm made of sterner stuff than that

the reality is

that when little things go wrong?

I blow them way out of proportion

way out

So to me - -it was a major melt down

to him

it's

well - -it's a four kleenex patch up job

and he's more right than I am

so -- I'm off to bed -- hopefully to snuggle up to the phone and chat with the man

have a great night

sfp

27th base wasn't all that it was cracked up to be

sometimes things go exactly as planned

and sometimes they go slightly awry

and

that's ok

because things don't have to be perfect all the time

and there's no need to go  into details

I ended up in tears

beyond tears

sobs

I think half because he pushed me farther than he has before
and more than half that my head wasn't in the right place

and the man took good care of me
and cleaned me up

(the fact that he brought 4 kleenex to do an 8 kleenex job was laughable)

I drove home today
and found myself feeling very very down

there is a price to be paid for the high highs --
the downside

silliness really
the drop of adrenaline
and endorphins no doubt

and I'm back to my normal self
tired
bruisy
sated
sore
and off to bed

tomorrow is another day

we'll try 27th base again next time.

18 hours

I'm 18 hours from my third date with M

and as you know

traditionally -- the third date is the date when many couples decide it's time to take the next step

to trust each other

with that special intimacy

yes

most couples round the bases by the third date

um

I think we're sliding into 27th base this weekend