Conversations II

packing to leave our hideaway (M gone the night before)
I see a spider in my bag

not like the spider in the shower
this one is more
hmmm
spidery
shaped like a black widow
but not one
well -- I didn't roll her over to check

I shook the bag upside down
nothing

she laughed at me
"I'm a spider... I'm not going to FALL - doofus"

I shook the bag harder pushing out the thoughts of how long she's been in there
trying not to wonder if I brought her back from where-Aisha-lives
ignoring that she's been in there with my panties

nothing

I realize that I'm shaking the bag over my own feet
this is going to end -- not in tears -- in screams

so I move to the bathroom
and shake her over the shower

(BTW -- all spiders are female -- all crickets are male -- weird huh?  I blame charlotte's web)

I begin to shake it frantically -- hoping to make this new home less hospitable -- ok -- freaking out a bit.
after three or four more spastic hard shakes I see her - -not in she shower -- but on the bathroom floor.

I retreat

after a moment's thought I shut the door.

******************

M:  another spider? 

Yeah -- I got her out of the bag in the bathroom --

Did you squash it?

No -- I just shut the door

Baby do you think the spider is too big to fit under the door?

No, too short to reach the handle.

Conversations

You know that spider?

the one in your shower this morning?

Yes -- the one in my shower this morning

what about it baby?

It's gone now

yeah -- I thought that might happen

now I don't know where it is

don't worry about it baby
I didn't want to say anything because I knew it
would bother you -- wondering where it went

I ran some water down the drain to see if it comes out

Baby it's not the itsy bitsy spider
going to come out and dry out

(walks into bathroom with phone)

Ha! -- there you are!
It's huge

find a shoe

it won't work -- it's by the drain and it's not flat
I've got the toothpaste box

Baby don't use the toothpaste box - -get a shoe

ah! ah! DIE DIE DIE ew ew ew
got it
now -- I've -- got -- to -- crap -- getinthere! - fish it out of the tub
toothpaste box for the win -- safely contained
I'm going to thow it outside in case it's playing possum
thanks for helping me kill the spider

You did the opposite of everything I said