Tex returns

(sigh)

A few weeks ago Tex had a death in the family and we almost had the chance to be together -- and we both threw the breakup out the window and jumped at it

to the point that I was minutes from driving 2 hours to him

when his family changed plans and went back home early (they drove)

dashing our plans

and leaving both of us a bit

no

more than a bit
disappointed

so here I am
going on my shitty dates
talking to men that  -- well - if I like them they're either long distance or married (most likely because they have to try harder to make a connection)

and if they're local/single I'm not interested (see previous post)

so I asked Tex if we could talk
and

think about it
one more time

because

in 10 days he'll be here for a conference

not HERE

but -- 5 hours from here

and
I want to go and if I can work it out

I am going

and we plan to play house

(ok - now - -Aisha - Nilla - you might want to get a pillow or something and put it on the table in front of you - because I'm afraid that you might need the cushion from shaking your heads so hard at my folly)

we plan to play house because that's what Tex has been throwing around
the idea that we might someday get married

and he thinks we should see what that would be like in our D/s world
and
spend a weekend at it

now

there's a cynical part of me that says -- "you know, a sociopathic bastard would know that this is your weak spot and a great way to manipulate the fuck out of you"

and the other part of me says, "as long as the cynic is still audible - I'll be ok" -- and ''wow - that's a long fucking con if that's the game he's playing"

he plans to introduce me to strangers at the hotel as his wife

and I plan to remind him at some point that in this old-west state that we live in that presenting yourself in public as man and wife and co-habitating is grounds to declare a common law marriage

:)

while all of this is going on a Dom friend of mine has agreed to mentor me -- and is requiring that I limit my Tex-time to 30 minutes a day

which should reduce swooning