Thursday, February 17, 2011

Body Image


I've had a poor body image - -like many women -- for a very long time.

Today -- I've been thinking about how this Dom/sub thing has changed my image

well -first off -- let me say that I have something I think of as backwards anorexia

you know how anorexics think they're horribly fat -- when they're really quite thin?

When I see myself in a mirror -- or in a photo - -I'm much fatter than in my mental image

it's made me avoid photos for many years

and the interesting thing?

this objectification?

humiliation

punishment

name calling?

somehow?

It's given me a correction

because when I look in the mirror

or at a photo?

I see me

as me

the good
the bad
the flaws

but mostly?

I see me

and who would have thought

that something that most of the world thinks is terrible

bad for me

has turned out to recalibrate

my very skewed view


at

14 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 17, 2011 at 9:56 PM

    I would kill for that body!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. turiyaFebruary 17, 2011 at 10:44 PM

    Yeah, seriously... you have nothing to worry about in the image department! :-D

    *hugs*

    turiya

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousFebruary 17, 2011 at 11:17 PM

    Please don't take this the wrong way, it's not a come on...you are exactly the kind of woman I think about, when I'm perving on girls. I think you're gorgeous.

    I'm right there with you on the recalibrating via kink. I see things I love about my body, which was unheard of a couple of years ago. The rest?I'm not happy about my flaws, but my worth as a person is no longer tied to my weight.

    ReplyDelete
  4. WilliamFebruary 18, 2011 at 12:17 AM

    I think you look hot. I love a woman with curves!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousFebruary 18, 2011 at 5:27 AM

    You have a beautiful body, enjoy all the curves!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mick CollinsFebruary 18, 2011 at 5:44 AM

    When I look in a mirror I'm much balder and older than in my mental image. the key is to avoid mirrors.

    But don't worry SFP, your goods are very appealing.

    Mick

    ReplyDelete
  7. strivingforpeaceFebruary 18, 2011 at 6:22 AM

    Thank you guys for your comments -- they're very kind.

    I am who I am

    but even a few months ago? I would not have dreamed of posting this sort of photo --

    I would have torn it apart and rejected it

    I'm sort of proud of myself for no longer beating myself up

    sfp

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousFebruary 18, 2011 at 6:46 AM

    I do not know when it became the norm for skinny to become the accepted norm for beauty. I personally would fight my way throuhg a hundred of the skinny bitches to get to a woman like you. Accept your self as the beautiful woman that you are.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousFebruary 18, 2011 at 6:48 AM

    Yep, I'm skinny in my head too - always a shock.

    But I love this!!! And you're right, it's a bdsm thing. It's one of the many things that I love about the lifestyle.

    I knew I was in a different universe at my first play party when i saw really, really heavy people naked and comfortable with it.

    And you are gorgeous.

    aisha

    ReplyDelete
  10. sinFebruary 18, 2011 at 7:17 AM

    I don't think it's necessarily a bdsm thing but I do think it's about feeling sexy. Or sexual. Or something.

    I smiled at the reverse anorexia. I actually get that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. perfect71psFebruary 18, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    Well, "schwingg!!" I'm happy to join in the general gusherie. I love the hair too: very cute. A-and it looks as though you're not wearing any knickers :O!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Little ButterflyFebruary 18, 2011 at 9:02 PM

    Perfect curves... beautiful!

    And I agree about ttwd; it somehow does the same for me.

    ReplyDelete
  13. strivingforpeaceFebruary 18, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    @Anon -- you need to move to my city

    @Aisha -- comforting isn't it? Makes me feel just silly being self conscious

    @Sin -- glad you liked it

    @PL -- I'm wearing my furry knickers

    @LB -- do you think we can market it that way? 'BDSM -- good for your self esteem"?

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousFebruary 18, 2011 at 10:32 PM

    Hey,
    Been meaning to write since this morning, but been hauling two teens around the windy city while Mick has been in a boring meeting! i get the reverse anorexia thing too -- but i come at it a bit differently. I was super skinny for a long time and could eat anything -- that changed...i became voluptuous with more to grab onto -- then I became obsessed and super skinny again (ten year's ago) and then got back to voluptuous (where I am today BTW)...now, yes girls, still fixated on that # on the scale -- but love to eat, drink and be happy too much -- and just hope that mick loves me this way -- cause going back at this age seems impossible and not fun at all...you look beautiful
    love
    molly

    ReplyDelete

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